lefty,
I know exactly how you feel. I was there about 4 months ago. I would actually load my 3 yr old daughter in the car at midnight, or one am, to drive by, or look for cars. Now, I knew that they were together, and I knew that having my daughter w/me, and being 7 mos. pregnant, I really wasn't going to do anything if I did "run into them." But, I know how you feel. You have to know for sure, to see for yourself. It will drive you nuts, it will make you physically sick. But, I finally came to a point where I just accepted the fact that they were together, and hoped that the more time he spent in the fantasy life with her, the more he would miss his real family.
I just quit hoping he would come see me after work, and just expected him to call me from her place, to say he was just "discussing a few issues..." It was so hard, lefty. I felt like I was left in the dust. But, then, I started to implement a few 180,s, and made sure I didn't always answer the phone when he called, or made it appear as though I was "out." He couldn't stand it when I wasn't sitting by the phone, just waiting for his depressing, disappointing call. I finally got to the point where it was easier not to talk to him.
I lost a lot of sleep, only gained 11 pounds my entire pregnancy, and was just a mess emotionally. But, I just rode on the hope that the A would run it's course and get old. As it turned out, it became too much for my WH to handle. He grew exhausted of juggling both women.
I don't know where you are in your sitch. I heard this from many other MBers. Just focus on something else, preferably yourself, your children, etc... I know it's hard, but unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about the A. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.
hang in there, lefty
MOP
