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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 545
L
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L Offline
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 545
How long before I stop torturing myself passing where he is at her house with her???? I am driving myself nuts wondering today if her took her away for the weekend and never took me away for the weekend...... Am I going nuts?????????? What good will this do me finding out????? It just frustrates me but I keep passing every time I am near there....... It's a week today he said goodbye..............I feel like I'm going nuts sometimes......Why can't my mind just let it go... Also Harley said Plan B-no contact---Why did our counselor say keep in touch with him by phone and even face to face contact or dinner.....Although he doesn't know that he is in with HER already so maybe he would say different....

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 69
M
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 69
lefty,
I know exactly how you feel. I was there about 4 months ago. I would actually load my 3 yr old daughter in the car at midnight, or one am, to drive by, or look for cars. Now, I knew that they were together, and I knew that having my daughter w/me, and being 7 mos. pregnant, I really wasn't going to do anything if I did "run into them." But, I know how you feel. You have to know for sure, to see for yourself. It will drive you nuts, it will make you physically sick. But, I finally came to a point where I just accepted the fact that they were together, and hoped that the more time he spent in the fantasy life with her, the more he would miss his real family.

I just quit hoping he would come see me after work, and just expected him to call me from her place, to say he was just "discussing a few issues..." It was so hard, lefty. I felt like I was left in the dust. But, then, I started to implement a few 180,s, and made sure I didn't always answer the phone when he called, or made it appear as though I was "out." He couldn't stand it when I wasn't sitting by the phone, just waiting for his depressing, disappointing call. I finally got to the point where it was easier not to talk to him.

I lost a lot of sleep, only gained 11 pounds my entire pregnancy, and was just a mess emotionally. But, I just rode on the hope that the A would run it's course and get old. As it turned out, it became too much for my WH to handle. He grew exhausted of juggling both women.

I don't know where you are in your sitch. I heard this from many other MBers. Just focus on something else, preferably yourself, your children, etc... I know it's hard, but unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about the A. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

hang in there, lefty
MOP


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