Hi again. I am a military bs and need help. H is military and is in another affair.We are legally seperated and he sent me an e-mail informing me that he has another woman. This is his second. She is a soldier and h is being investigated for sexual misconduct.

I just need help with what to look for in a lawyer and questions to ask pertaining to military divorce.

Thanks,
Lunadove

(also posted in divorce/divorcing)

LunaDove

There is no "Military" divorce. It would all be handled in civilian courts, and it's highly unlikely anything punitive would carry over into the UCMJ (ie: courts martial) other than monetary issues. Whatever ruling comes of a divorce, primarily child-support, spousal support etc, WILL be firmly carried out by the military system. You won't need a lawyer for that, just the phone number to his 1st Sgt and/or his serving Finance office.

As for the civilian side, look for a local lawyer that has experience dealing with the military. It's good to have the experience even though it probably wouldn't have any bearing on the divorce itself. They usually advertise this when near military installations.

Above all, you should definately be in contact with your H's 1st Sgt throughout this mess. If the 1st Sgt fails to offer assistance, then he's not doing his job and you need to contact his commander.

Quick note: I don't know exactly what your referring to in saying your H is being investigated for sexual misconduct. That rings of "Fraternization" which is in fact a career stopper for Officers. "Adultery" is also a crime in the Military, but, in order for any UCMJ legal action to be taken, admittance by both parties involved OR graphic evidence is required. But then it's very serious. I know of more than one case in which the military member got to shack up with his peer's in Leavenworth for an extended period of time. Also keep this in mind, every UCMJ conviction is a FEDERAL conviction. There are some very long strings attached to that.

....too bad Adultery is not a crime in the civilian world (or at least taken seriously when it is).

M.

I don't know who his 1sgt is. I have a number for his rear detachment, but that sgt. didn't mention anything happening to h. As in h having another affair. I do not live on base. H is a sgt. Him and 17 other soldiers are being investigated for sexual misconduct. H sent me an e-mail admitting that he is with his soldier.

<small>[ January 12, 2004, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: LunaDove ]</small>

Call back, ask the Sgt you got ahold of for H's 1st Sgt's duty phone number. If you are refused, more than one person is going to get his/her butt in a sling. The other folks in his unit can not give out personal information of any kind, so don't count on it. However, the 1st Sgt is a different story, kind of a grey area, he will work with you as needed, it's HIS JOB!

Once 1st Sgt finds out H is with someone else, especially in that he admitted this to you, you have unbelievable leverage to work with. Sounds to me like the sexual-misconduct is unrelated to his A.

M.

Mortimer,
I didn't have leverage the first time so I doubt I will this time. H gets away with stuff very well and his chain of command backs him up. H owes me back family support too and all of my household goods ended up in Louisiana. H's chain knows this but did nothing to have H relieve the problem.

Sexual misconduct is for being with this particular soldier.

Lunadove

Ok
Unfortunately, this is not an entirely uncommon set of circumstances. ie: H, although entirely wrong is on the inside of the good-ole-boy network. You have a number of options at this point. Try calling the "Inspector General", tell them your story and that you have no idea where to go from here. Also, call the JAG (Judge Advocate General), explain the same to them and ask for guidance. Also, find out his parent unit (if he's assigned to a Detachment, his parent unit may be at another installation). Again, explain and be SURE and always state you are not getting any support from anyone, and that you need guidance on where to go.

The beauty of the chain of command is quite simple, eventually you'll run into someone who's willing to take the high road and do whats right. If you have trouble figureing out his parent unit, just try finding the web-page associated with his unit, it will show up there if there is one, and I'll bet there is.

M.

Thanks for your help. I know he is on detachment from his parent unit. I will call and get the inspector general's number. I tried calling them when we were living in Hawaii but nobody ever got back to me.

Lunadove

Adultery is against the UCMJ. Kind of wish my wife had cheated on me with another military guy but he was a civilian. Anyway if he sent you an email saying this then you could defintely contact legal and let them know.