I have been married for 19 years. I have two sons 17 and 19. Six months ago, the day after my older son graduated high school my husband told me he was not happy in our marriage. I asked him if there was someone else and he said yes and identified a consultant.

We had been through marriage counseling ten years earlier because my husband was unhappy and told me he was infatuated but not in a sexual relationship with his college intern 20 years his junior.

My husband told me he had given himself permission to have sex outside our marriage for the first time with the consultant, that he had taken her to a day rate motel during work twice. He told this to his boss too as he had recently awarded the woman a lucrative contract.

We have been doing good work on recovery. My husband is going to a christian counselor and making apparent progress. We read his needs her needs and agreed on our needs. I have lost weight (about 20 lbs) and we try to spend more time together, for example, I have been going to the gym with him. I have asked him to be honest with me, to be affectionate and to talk to me. He is doing okay on affection, but really its sex. Honesty eludes him completely and he retreats into silence from time to time.

He still works with OW which is very difficult for me. He is not supposed to have unsupervised contact with her, but I have caught him in lies about this.

Last night I found an old diary in which my husband wrote about his sexual relationship with his former college intern. Apparently, he had also taken her to a motel during the work day and they had a sexual relationship which he mourned for quite some time.

I confronted him and he said he had had three sexual affairs at work. First when my second son was an infant. He left work at lunch and had sex at the woman's house. I don't have a clue how long the affair lasted. Second in 1993 with the college intern. And third with the consultant. However with the most recent woman it was not a two time event as he has been insisting for the past six months, but a two year affair with dozens of motel trips. He met her children and sister, took our dog to her house to play with her kids. He defends his lying as trying to protect me. Says he now loves me for the first time in our marriage.

I can't take more lying. I am at my wit's end. I feel like an idiot. My youngest son will graduate high school this year. I can't trust him. By the way during his affair I had back surgery which led to a heart attack. He continued the affair. He told me he loved me when he thought I was dying, but more generally insists that he has never loved me at anytime in our marriage until very recently.

Should I leave? Ask him to leave? Wait it out until our son graduates? Continue to work with him even though he seems incapable of honestly. If so, how do I patrol him?