I am the WH of "Keeping the Faith". I have not entirely felt comfortable with "Marriage Builders" forum. Particularly with the opinions about me the WH. I am sure this sounds defensive, but I need to add some information that might give a different point of view. As far as myself and possibly my wife have been stuck in a major rut with substance abuse. I will just say that it comes from way South of the border. I am very frustrated with our life. Though we live well, we became more distant from each other. We did not share time away together, not even to have drinks at a local pub. So being mad at our past and current situation, I found someone new to share time with and as you guys say "Fulfilled my emotional needs." With out getting deep into this relationship. My question for now is "Does anyone think that I could possibly have some major issues, that keeps me from making any definite decisions? Continuing on and following the same path, tearing up everything I had planned with my wife. That unintentionally continues to keep hurting. I ask for your opinions. Signed Desperado

Desparado

Anytime there is substance abuse you are going to have problems in many other areas of your life.

The problem with substance abuse is that it is often your escape or percieved "haven" from your other worldly problems.

So my suggestion would be not only for you but your spouse to work on the substance abuse issues first.

That is the best way for you have a true shot at long term recovery.

Plus it will allow you to take control of your personal and marital lives.

Good luck.