My EX would not even hesitate to go to lunch alone with a person of the opposite sex......My wife now feels that doing so is extremely dangerous and would never do that. How many here feel doing so is deadly to a marriage? I feel one on one with the opposite sex is just way too personal......I think only in group is lunching acceptable from work.

I personally don't think it is always dangerous just to have lunch but if it were to become frequent then that could be.I had several guy friends when I was younger even though I was going "steady" with my now WH and I enjoyed their company BUT I am someone who is acutely aware of her feelings and relationships and how they "work" so the moment I would get any "feelings" for a man I would not see that person again.

That happened to me working as an RN and having these really attractive, brilliant Residents working at the same hospital.Very easy to get involved but you have to just keep your wits about you and know when it becomes that slippery slope I guess,in any given situation.

O

I do it all the time. . .

lunch with the opposite sex is only for those that have boundaries. . . and self control. . .

however, i prefer a soccer or basketball game to lunch any day

I eat lunch with guys every day and have for 15 years. I work with all guys and all of my customers are guys. Today I took a male customer to lunch and if its not a male customer, it's a male coworker.

I don't know, I just have never had a problem with it. I am an attractive female, but I am also just "one of the guys" and have never had a problem with it. Most of them are married and I know their wives and talk to them. I have definite boundaries with them and there are certain areas that I never go.

Now, I do have a buyer at one chain where I have to bring another guy in order to take him to lunch. They do not allow men to go to lunch alone with a woman. So, I make one of my male co-workers come along with me to protect my honor! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ January 15, 2004, 07:23 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

This topic is like reading a post from myself 3 1/2 years ago. My H was having lunch with a female friend of his at work. I was extremely against it, and my husband continued to do it any way stating that they were just friends. They eventually fell in love with each other, and had an emotional affair. This EA changed into a PA 1 year ago, and I just found out about it on Thanksgiving day. He can now look back and see why it wasn't a good idea to see someone one-on-one - duh! Being the BS, my views are very strong. Why does one need to spend time with someone of the opposite sex - even for lunch? Asking for trouble, because human nature takes over.

I work with all men engineers. I go out with lots of men for lunch, but only 1 day here, and 1 day there. And I set boundaries. Once one started telling me problems he was having with his wife. I told him he needed to talk to her about them, or a marriage counselor. Then I didn't eat with him anymore.

So much depends on the individual and his/her personality type. Is s/he an addictive personality? Then possibly, in my opinion, it could be extremely dangerous. Because, addictive types may have a hard time setting or following boundaries. Instead, the thing just gradually starts feeling better and better until they are "hooked." Then watch out. That's when the real trouble begins, whether it is heading for an EA or a PA.

Personally I don't have a problem having lunch with a member of the opposite sex. However, when I do, I always inquire about their spouse and family. I think that such questions communicate to THEM that you are setting the boundaries, that it is professional and/or friendly only.

There are so many different aspects to this question-are we talking about lunch with one person on a regular basis or an occasional, "You're going to Joe's Deli? May I join you?" Is it something that is spontaneous and informal or planned in advance? Are we talking about grabbing a salad at Subway or a long lunch at someplace dim and cozy?

I wouldn't have a problem with my hubby occasionally grabbing a quick, casual lunch with a female coworker, but if he regularly ate with the same one over and over, I would be concerned, unless it was part of a group that ate out together.

Well, I would never dream of having a long, cozy, intimate lunch with any male coworker. That would be weird and inappropriate and give him the WRONG IDEA about me. THAT is NOT how I want my male coworkers to view me. I like to be treated with respect so I have to act respectfully and conduct myself like a lady.

I have both spontaneous and planned lunches with coworkers. But there is a certain protocol that I have always observed. I don't say anything to my coworkers that I wouldn't say in front of his wife or my H. I wouldn't ever let it progress beyond that point.

If I felt that things were getting beyond that, I would end the lunches. I am not willing to do anything that would diminish my self respect or professional reputation. No one is worth THAT.