My H and I have been in marriage counseling for about a year. It has been an extrememly slow heaking process because as well as lying to me, he was lying to our counselor. (The sad part was our counselor believed him.)

D-day was about 3 yrs ago. H was acting strange so I asked THE question, "Are you having an affair?" Wow, did he blow up! I knew I hit a nerve.

After months and months of bulls..t, he finally said he thought of leaving me for this other woman, a client. She use to call the house and they would talk about business...I think, but I would cringe just hearing her voice.

He then changed the story to he would masturbate to her and in the fantasy she would ask him to leave me. When I asked why he put a thought like that in his mind his answer was he didn't know because it came out of her mouth. ( how much sense does that make.) Later he said he didn't know what he was saying.

One day sticks in my mind so vividly. He was to go to her house to do some work (he's a contractor) and he told me she wouldn't be home because she didn't like being there when someone was working.

Approximately 3 hours later she calls and asks for him. I told her he was suppose to be at her house. She says she went to her neighbors place upstairs and fell asleep. She never left orders at the front desk to let him in. I then called to tell him that she had just called and his reaction was anger. "Why did she call you?"

Many months after D-day and many questions later he said he was obssessed by her, he had a quick thought of leaving me for her, he would look at her picture in her apartment to remind him of what she looked like, he said he also had a fantasy of the two of them talking at her table and smoking pot,(he was also addicted to pot) and then going into her bedroom with her and so on....

He later took everything back and said they were all lies. ......Ugh When I would ask questions after he said they were lies his answer was...I don't know.

He has recently been told he has many narcissitc behaviors. His mother is a textbook case narcissist. Everytime we get better and things seem to be going well he does something to push me back. I feel like he tries to do it. He like stress and tension.

He was fired from his job, I'm currently not working because of children. Our house went into foreclosure, I broke my foot and had a plate put in it (no insurance). I now have to go out and make things happen so that we don't loose it all. I have been trying to keep it together but I'm at my breaking point. I don't know what to believe anymore. He says he's trying. I think he is but he is alot of words and hardly any action.

Can anyone give me their insight. I really need to do something in a positive direction. At this point my mind is going in soooo many directions I don't know what to do first.

Thanks for reading!

I think you have the right attitude. You need to take charge of your life and your children's lives. He has let this happen to the family and he needs to hit bottom, but he is dragging all of you with him.

With a broken foot and children you don't have a lot of options now. Protect your assets as much as you can. Maybe someone at legal aid can help? Church help?

Start planning your future, as if in plan A and move ahead. He'll want to come along for the ride when he seees you moving foward, at that point you will have to deceide. If he is a narcissist then his behavior may not change. Remember, one day at a time. Call the docs office and hospital and explain your situation. Often they will take payment on a sliding scale.