my history:
newlywed in distress

Talk about being a doormat in Plan A...I felt like a dirty doormat that got flogged! It was hard to keep my composure...good thing it was a bedtime conversation with the light turned off, W didn't get to see my tears. I've posted my story on the board before so won't go into details. Tried to tell W to end it with OM (her ex) and she turns on me, bringing up our abortion issue (I asked her to have an early-term abortion 4 months into our marriage (Aug 2003,my pre-MB time) but changed my mind...she didn't believe my changed outlook and went ahead with it and blames it squarely on me)...I understand that it won't be resolved in her mind so easily but she uses that as her excuse to say that we're so different and she doesn't like TRYING to get on with me, she just want to get on (as if that happens magically)...and of course the "I don't like you" line...(this after a weekend of intimacy and love)...I know she is seeing him at least once a week during the day and there are phone conversations although she denies it all. It hurts so much because I love her so much. Then she said I'm so weird and boring (??!!). This is just month 1 of my plan A so I just listened and I didn't extend the conversation much further because it was becoming too painful for me to take. She acted more normally this morning when I took her to university before I went to work.

She seems to have a big issue with food. I'm somewhat of a health nut and try to eat as healthily as possible. My W likes to indulge every so often in tasty but fattening stuff...her complaint (which I feel now is valid) is that I'm selfish in the way I give myself treats...instead of treating myself when my wife wants to share treats with me I sometimes say "No" but when I feel like it I gorge myself on my one big weakness...chocolate. Then she doesn't like i that I don't have three big meals but tend to nibble all day...she said she thinks I'm on the verge of an eating disorder (where did that come from?!!!). Some things she said about my food habits are justified...I will eat healthily all the time when I'm by myself from now on and save my treat times to share with her.

Another thing, she said it's all about me...like I decided when she went off to her overseas medical project that I really did love her and wanted to reconcile (see my previous threads)...that it's all about what I want, but I don't want it to be like that...boy it's really hard to take...I could feel physically in pain last night...we're going to the theater tonight...hopefully things will be easier...any comments, suggestions, views, opinions all very needed and welcome. Thanks for listening guys and gals.

Also she changed her e-mail password so I can't check it any more...she may have changed it coz she got me surprise tickets to the theater for my birthday (and didn't want me to view the return receipt in her e-mail account as it was a surprise)...should I ask her for her password again?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ironbeast:
<strong> )...should I ask her for her password again? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">without hesitation!

M.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mortimer:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ironbeast:
<strong> )...should I ask her for her password again? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">without hesitation!

M. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">okay, I know she will get defensive about it but I will ask nicely. Any suggestions, comments about the above stuff?

out of all the stories I read on this board, your wife seems the most similiar. Reading your post about the night conversation in bed brought back painful memories. Then, we went to theatre together too, to catch a play. Unfortunately, for me it didn't go well. I went to the bathroom before it started and when I got back I saw her cell phone was lit up (which I took as her reading her text messages). She then got up and went to the bathroom and took longer than necessary. Throughout the whole play she made sure and sat leaning away from me. It was just cruel and harsh that night. That was way back when she was having a hard time breaking it off with him. Now, she has moved out and she is with him full-fledged.

Hope this doesn't happen to you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by solon:
<strong> out of all the stories I read on this board, your wife seems the most similiar. Reading your post about the night conversation in bed brought back painful memories. Then, we went to theatre together too, to catch a play. Unfortunately, for me it didn't go well. I went to the bathroom before it started and when I got back I saw her cell phone was lit up (which I took as her reading her text messages). She then got up and went to the bathroom and took longer than necessary. Throughout the whole play she made sure and sat leaning away from me. It was just cruel and harsh that night. That was way back when she was having a hard time breaking it off with him. Now, she has moved out and she is with him full-fledged.

Hope this doesn't happen to you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">okay solon, tell me exactly what you did with your wife ...and I'll make sure to do the exact opposite <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by solon:
<strong> out of all the stories I read on this board, your wife seems the most similiar. Reading your post about the night conversation in bed brought back painful memories. Then, we went to theatre together too, to catch a play. Unfortunately, for me it didn't go well. I went to the bathroom before it started and when I got back I saw her cell phone was lit up (which I took as her reading her text messages). She then got up and went to the bathroom and took longer than necessary. Throughout the whole play she made sure and sat leaning away from me. It was just cruel and harsh that night. That was way back when she was having a hard time breaking it off with him. Now, she has moved out and she is with him full-fledged.

Hope this doesn't happen to you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">okay solon, tell me exactly what you did with your wife ...and I'll make sure to do the exact opposite <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Solon, night at theater went very well, was romantic and bonding time.