My wife found a couple porno links in the history of the browswer at home and blew off the handle big time as if I cheated on her. This was something that was clear before we got married that she did not want in the house and was discussed to great extent. Now she can't trust me and things I'm the biggest POS in the world. we have only been married about 7 months and have had lots of other problems but this just takes the cake. I could also count on both hands how much sex we've had since marriage and that's not a good thing. We haven't had sex in almost 2 months, and I was feeling neglected so I checked out some sites. What is some advice on what I should do to try to make things better? I honestly thing that this is it, she can't get over it and she says she can't trust me. Plus when she found it I lied and said I didn't go (stupid I know) so now I'm a liar, and a pervert in her eyes. She wants revenge, she wants to tell the whole world how much of a pervert I am, including our priest, my grandparents, her parents, and anybody else she can get to. She won't listen to me, we can't discuss anything, I don't know what to do

I think you both need to set down and talk to each other. And that is talk without DJ's or LB'ing. You both need to be honest about what your feeling and what your thinking. Everything needs to be discussed. DId both of you fill out the Emotional Needs Questionaire? It could help both of you understand each others needs.

All you can do is ask your W to forgive you about looking up the porno, and to tell her if you do get that urge to look it up again that you will ask her help not to. If I'm attracted to look, I tell Poe.

As for the lack of SF, what have you been doing to show your W that you love her, that she is special. For her the emotions need to be there. JMHO. Start meeting her needs and maybe your needs will be met. But really meet her EN's just because you want to meet them without expecting anything in return.

What can you do to make things better?

Well, you knew this was a problem spot before the M, you talked about it at length, you made an agreement, and you broke the agreement. Thus you've proven yourself untrustworthy.

Then you lied about it, reinforcing to her that you cannot be trusted.

No wonder she doesn't trust you.

She won't listen to you or discuss anything with you because she doesn't trust you. How can she build a foundation on quicksand? She thinks she knows where it is, but then it shifts and is not as it seemed. Trust is a BIG deal! Only after trust is restored (at least partially) can you begin working on other things like your need for sex. I know that's not a happy place for you to be AT ALL but your current situation is the result of the unfortunate choices you've made. It can be fixed, though.

You need to EARN her trust back. I'd begin by offering to install "spyware" on the computer so she knows EVERYWHERE you go and can see all your passwords, etc. Better yet, install it, tell her you've done so, show her how to use it, and ask her what else you can do to earn her trust. Something like that would have made a big impression on me when my H proved to me, through his actions, that he was not trustworthy.

I also recommend that you read the information on this site about the Love Bank, Emotional Needs (ENs), and Love Busters (LBs). You'll want to begin working hard on filling her ENs without any LBs. When she feels more loving toward you, you can bring up the subject of your own ENs, perhaps get her to read some of the info on this site or an appropriate book (His Needs, Her Needs, for example), and make your new M a more fulfilling place for the both of you.

You're not a bad person, you've just made a couple of bad behavioral choices. I'm glad you are wanting to make things better.
You can do this.