IM NOT SURE IM IN THE RIGHT SECTION OR NOT BUT I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE QUICKLY.I DID NOT SEE THIS ADDRESSED IN THE MARRIAGE BUILDERS FORMS ANYWHERE.MY HUSBAND HAD A FEW NIGHT STANDS WITH A WOMAN 10 YEARS AGO BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED.I WAS NOT HIS MATE AT THE TIME EITHER.I WAS BASICALLY THE SAME AS HER.ANYWAY I HAD 2 CHILDREN FROM THESE ENCOUNTERS AND SHE HAD ONE.IN THE YEARS THAT FOLLOWED HE AND I DID GET TOGETHER-GOT MARRIED AND MADE OUR FAMILY ONE.SINCE WE HAVE SHE HAS USED HER DAUGHTER IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE TO GET MY HUSBAND AWAY FROM ME.SHE HAS CAUSED NOTHING BUT TROUBLE AND IT TORE US APART BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND HE WOULD NOT LISTEN TO ME. IN OUR WORST HOUR HE ENDED UP SLEEPING WITH HER AND IT WENT ON FOR 6-8 MONTHS.WHEN I FINALLY DISCOVERED IT HE STOPPED IT AND WE ARE TRYING AND STRUGGLING TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER.SHE HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE WILL NOT SEE HIS DAUGHTER AS LONG AS IM IN THE PICTURE.YET SHE KEEPS DOING THINGS TO PROMOTE IT AND IN VINDICTIVE WAYS OR WAYS THAT EXCLUDE ME OR DISREGARD ME ALL TOGETHER.HE WANTS TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER BUT HES TORN.THE MOTHER COMES WITH THE DAUGHTER AND THERE IS NO WAY TO SEE THE DAUGHTER WITHOUT SEEING THE MOTHER AND SHE WANTS HIM TO SEE THE DAUGHTER ALONE WITHOUT ME AROUND AND I REFUSE TO STAND FOR THAT.TO HAVE A MEDIATOR TO PICK UP AND DROP OFF WILL NOT FLY WITH THIS WOMAN.SHE WANTS DIRECT CONTACT WITH HIM OR NOTHING. AND IF IM INCLUDED IN THAT CONTACT SHE WONT COOPERATE WITH THAT ARRANGEMENT EITHER.WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS MESS? IF AND WHEN WE EVER GET TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER AGAIN -HOW SHOULD IT BE HANDLED. I DO NOT WANT HIM AROUND THE OTHER WOMAN WITH OR WITHOUT ME.BUT I DONT WANT TO PUSH HIM TO START TALKING TO HER BEHIND MY BACK AND START THIS WHOLE THING ALL OVER AGAIN EITHER. SO FAR HES TENDING TO MY FEELINGS ON IT BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE PHONE CALL.PLEASE IF YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS FOR ME-FOR HIM-ABOUT WHAT WE CAN DO TO HEAL ALL THIS AND MOVE FORWARD-I WOULD APPRECIATE IT MORE THEN YOU WOULD EVER KNOW. THANKS, TLATSA

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 07:17 AM: Message edited by: TLATSA ]</small>

Please turn off your CAPS lock key and put a blank in between paragraphs. Makes it much easier to read.

MY HUSBAND HAD A FEW NIGHT STANDS WITH A WOMAN 10 YEARS AGO BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED.I WAS NOT HIS MATE AT THE TIME EITHER.I WAS BASICALLY THE SAME AS HER.ANYWAY I HAD 2 CHILDREN FROM THESE ENCOUNTERS AND SHE HAD ONE.
You and your now h were not a couple but had sex and had children? And he did the same with someone else at the same time?

Are there any court orders for visitation or child support?

If I'm understanding the story...H made baby w/ one night stand BEFORE your marraige and THEN had A w/ ONS AFTER you were married?

You might get more responses and advice it the PREGNANCY/CHILD forum.

You should get court ordered visitation and then ONS can no longer be controlling things. H has rights as a father. For the sake of your marriage, you should NOT be excluded from this relationship and H has every right to have you w/ him to p/u OC and be in the picture.

How old is child?
How many years married?
How many children from marriage?

Again, you will probably get more out of the other forum PREGNANCY/CHILD from more others with similar experiences.

thanks for the info. i am definately not a computer whiz. we were seeing each other causually at the time. i seen him more then she did since i had 2 children only 15 months apart. she had hers in between mine and neither of us knew about the other until court orders and child support came into the picture. we werent exclusive then obviousley - weve been together and married for 5 1/2 years. she has done everything imaginable to be in my place since he chose me to build a life with and not her. including moving where we moved to. she was calling and asking him to pick his daughter up and do this and that always when i wouldnt be around. we fought constantly over her until i drove him straight to her. she just wont give up and shes even more determined this time since he duped her again. when he came back to me she said she didnt want his child support he pays and that he would never be around his daughter again and that he could not seperate them that way. that was 6 months ago and i think she is just now realizing that he is staying with me and shes starting her new game plan to weazle her way in again. we had to have the police call and warn her to stay away and not call or e-mail him or me anymore. her messages on our machine were full of screaming and name calling and threats against both of us. she was warned that we could get her for stalking and something else if she done it again. even sending e-mails to my husbands work to his boss telling him when they had sex at the office and letters to me and e-mails to me telling me dates and times also. not a word from her for six months until now. i just dont know what to do. we received a letter last night from our lawyer saying she contacted him and wants 1800.00 for some medical bills. shes only doing it to start the contact up again. i was instantly sick over this because i know its coming again. and i cant go through that again. thanks so much for listening to me babble. i do alot of it these days.

This is from your other post, concerning this guy.
support. he disappeared until my children were 5 and 4 and the oc was 4. he came around and he and i got married.