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#1108586 01/23/04 03:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1
W
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1
Married 2o years - Wife now wants space to do what she wants.. we have 6 children
She just lost 80 pounds, started work a year ago...

Caught her flirting in EMAIL, thinks its beyond that... She denies it, says she wants time.... yet her EMAIL directly contradicted that statement... She doesn't know I have a copy of the EMAIL....

I still am in love with her and want to stay married, what can I do... Please Help..

One of her major complaints is I always talk, never listen, for 20 years... she's dealing with issues all the way back to her childhood... She's rejected me physically for almost 15 years most of the time, now the rejection is on all levels.

Says until she finds herself, she can't work on us, she goes out almost every night...

Please help....

In Love, but Losing Hope

#1108587 01/23/04 05:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903
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Posts: 2,903
I'm glad you found your way here, but sorry you are here for the reason you are.

Dr. Harley said there is a very good chance if a
S(pouse) says they want space or wants to separate, there is probably someone else. Your Wife is showing numerous signs of someone having an Affair.

How much have you read form the website? Read about Emotional Needs and Plan A. It sounds like your wife has a high need for conversation. Learn how you can begin to fulfill this need in trumps!!!

#1108588 01/23/04 05:36 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 462
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I think the fact that your wife lost 80 lbs is awesome. That coupled with her new job, she must be feeling very good about herself right now.

If you have been ignoring her and not listening to her needs, she could be feeling that someone else out there might. I am not saying that she is having an affair or is even thinking about it, but she probably feels like she has more power over her life then she did before. Jobless and carrying around extra weight can make you feel unimportant and useless.

You need to make it clear to her, how you feel about her. That you are proud of her. Show her by listening to her. Give her a reason to stay home at night.

#1108589 01/23/04 07:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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While the signs do point to her having an affair without more proof we cannot say for sure. You have to keep your eyes and ears open for more signs and PROOF before you accuse her of having one.

In the meantime do read Dr Willard Harley's books 'Love Busters', 'His Needs Her Needs' and 'Surviving An Affair' as well as Michelle Weiner Davis's book 'Divorce Remedy'.


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