My brother-in-law came down to visit us right after my husband came home from the O/W house and my husband said NOTHING about what was going on with us. And now my husband is out again, and none of his family knows anything about what is happening to our marriage or that he left. I would like to call his brother and tell him what is going on. This has been going on since I found out in April 2003, so I feel they should know. After all, they are family. Maybe my brother-in-law talking to him can punch some sense into what he is doing......Do you think it would be alright to call him?????? Otherwise, it might be months until they call us again.........Opinions, please...............

Absolutely! - tell, tell, tell everybody after this time period.

Please read the link in my sig line below and all the embedded links that concern revealing the affair to the light of day.

Hi lefty,

To tell or not is to each his/her own.There have been a few discussions that I have been a part of debating that very question.

In my case,since I was so close to my WH family,I told right away and that was the best thing I could have done.They all have been supporting me from the start and have not made it easy on my WH to continue his A,in fact,they have told him to never bring the OW around the family EVER and that she will never be welcomed.

It was such a relief to know that I had their support because my WH family means,or MEANT,a great deal to him.He doesn't speak to them much nowadays since he knows he will not get any support from them.We are all just disgusted at what he has done and that he still hasn't stopped our pain.

If you are close with your in-laws and feel that they would at least be helpful to you,yes tell them.Remember also that you should "tell the world" so to speak,to help burst that fantasy bubble.The A sounds like it has gone on way too long as it is so I would definitely consider telling.

O

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lefty:
My brother-in-law came down to visit us right after my husband came home from the O/W house and my husband said NOTHING about what was going on with us. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What did you expect him to say?!?!
Did you REALLY think he was going to " 'fess up" to having an A to his brother?!?!?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I would like to call his brother and tell him what is going on.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then do it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Do you think it would be alright to call him?????? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Of course it would be "all right." You have the freedom to do whatever you want to do! Will there be fall-out? Probably. Know that this WILL be considered a LB by WH.

It is totally up to you whether you want to "expose" this to him family. But, what do you hope to accomplish? What do you think his family will think? What do you think your H will think about this? If you have weighed these questions, and still want to do it, then by all means, have at it.

Lefty, you do not seem to be grasping the advice you are being given: Your H is having an A. He is in a FOG. He does not want you interfering. HE WILL TAKE ANYTHING YOU DO AS A LB.

Instead of listening to some very good advice others have given you, such as, DO PLAN A. Better yourself. Keep yourself busy. Forget about what he's doing now. KNow that most A's die out on their own after awhile........

You keep coming on here and flipping out, and asking US to condone your actions.

We can't, unless it's MB principles. So far, it's not. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

If you don't tell his family, you are participating in the affair.