I am very hurt and angry over my wife's affair. She is very angry that I checked up on her stories when she moved out. The children told me where the new apartment was and she did not like that I asked them questions about the apartment. I did so because I still believed that the boyfriend was still around. Now we are both angry and both do not want to talk to each other. What should I do? 1. Go to the Ranch and break off all contact for a while. 2. Not do that and try to get in contact with her family to talk to her? or 3. ?. Let me know what I should do to begin discussions or should I just let sleeping dogs lie. LOL

anyone.

bump

her BF is surely still in the picture, you can bet your money on that. the famous "I need space to be alone" means "I want to have a license to meet OM anytime I want and not feel bad & guilty about it".

another point: even if curiosity is killing you, try not to use your kids as intermediaries too much. how old are they? the whole thing is something between you and her, in your respective roles as husband and wife (sort of) and not between mother and father of your kids.

your question re. staying in contact: at the moment, whenever she talks to you and you talk to her, the sparks fly and you seem to push each other's triggers so that it takes exactly 5min till both of you hit the ceiling. right? now: does that do you any good? probably not. as a first step, I think you should really try not to get too excited and learn to communicate. by this I mean: before you answer back, think: what emotions do I feel when she says it? why do I have these emotions? which trigger point did she hit? what did she want to achieve hitting this trigger? then, take a deep breath and and give your answer: tell her what you feel, how her comments make you feel. and answer in a matter-of factly manner.
You should only talk with her when you can avoid hitting the ceiling or getting too much hurt. if you need a time-out to calm out, then do it.