If you could force your WS into conciliation procedures or counseling, would you?
It looks as if my WW is ready to either push for a dissolution if I will agree or a divorce if I won't.
Long story short WW has been in PA for 14 months, out of the house since shortly after D-day 2/16/03. A is out in the open, OMW and children have know since May. I have been in PlanB since August. Though I have tried nearly everything I can think of to bring WW home she has never indicated any interest in trying to save our M.
Today my attourney told me that in our state (Ohio) code states: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">At the request of either spouse or on the court's own initiative, the court may order the spouses to undergo conciliation procedures for up to 90 days. The court will set forth the procedures and name the conciliator. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My attourney said this can include IC (I am already going). I would think it might be a huge LB. Would asking the court to order WW into conciliation or counseling be a mistake?

<small>[ January 27, 2004, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: 23down ]</small>

Sure, but what's the alternative? They don't like exposure either but sometimes you have to lose some love units to have even the opportunity to save your marriage.

Bump. Hoping for a few more replies.

I agree.There is nothing left to lose if they really want a D so why not at least try C.Your WW most certainly will take that suggestion as an affront but I would feel comfortable knowing why I was requesting it despite what my WS thought.

O

I would think it might be a huge LB.
Why in the world would you be even remotely worried about this being a LB at this point?

23:

What did you end up doing?

-ol' 2long

Yes what happened? As I understand it, unless my WW can justify her reason for wanting a divorce, I might have this option too. Don't know if I want it but it may be a possibility.

Hey, 2long! Still at it I see.
I&#8217;ve not been here for a while. Just decided to check in and saw one of my threads was up. I will post an update to my original story thread sometime this weekend.
I finally have a court date for a preliminary hearing 7/15. But my IC says there is really no reason to try and force my WS into anything; it will do no good. There is an old joke that goes:
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
My WS is one light bulb that still does not want to change.
23down

What do you do when your dream comes true
And it's not quite like you planned.
What have you done to be losing the one,
You held them so tight in your hands.
Time passes and you must move on.
Half the distance takes you twice as long.
But you keep on singing for the sake of the song.
"After The Thrill Is Gone" - Eagles

Well, 23. I guess at least you'll be able 2 look back and know you did what you could.

...lately, though, it's been hard 2 find the success stories.

best,
-ol' 2long

<small>[ May 20, 2004, 11:55 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

23down, sveral years ago, when H and I were going to MC, we told our therapist about H's brother who was having an A. It runs in the family. Therapist quoted someone who said the only 3rd person who should be in a M is the therapist. Last Fall H and I were in MC, and I had no idea about the A. We were spinning our wheels. Then a few months ago we were in MC and he had been calling OW. More waisting time. If your W has totally made up her mind, and is totally fogged out, I'm not sure what good it will do. However, when H and I were in MC a few months ago our therapist did do one thing that did help H decide to dump the "B". He really hammered H with the statistics of these As, and none of it was good. He did it in a way that wasn't preachy, just these are the facts. Also told him bluntly what this will do to our boys. My H was still in-love with his fantasy of the perfect relationship at that point, but also didn't want to dump me either.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I obviously don't have an opinion. Good luck! CV