I'm not sure how to do a link, but it's in Infidelity/General Questions II/Creative Way to tell OM's wife by Rebuildinator member #32895 (you can do a search of his posts by number). I copied the text that was of interest but you should probably read the whole thing to put it in context... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Thank you for the advice. I did have a session with Steve Harley. He is great by the way. He suggests that I first approach my WW with:
"The path we are following right now doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t see us becoming happier as a couple with what we are doing. I’m looking for options or ideas as to what we might try to turn our marriage around. Keep in mind, I’m not looking to dive head first into a solution. I’m just looking for a path that may lead us closer together and hoped you might have some ideas."
Steve said not to expect much but then in a couple of days to ask her
"I was thinking about what I asked you a couple of days ago and I really need a sense of direction that looks like it could lead us to being happy in our marriage together. Are you open to looking into alternative ideas."
Steve suggested I ask her this several times over the period of a couple weeks for her input and tell her
"I’m talking to this counselor who is really helping me get a better understanding of things I could have done differently in the past and things I need to be working on now. He seems to be objective, fair and has our best interests in mind. Would you be open to giving him a try once and after you talk with him we can decide if we want to continue with him or look at something else."
Basically, lovingly & repeatedly approach WW with getting her input on fixing the M. If she doesn't respond then Steve feels contacting OM's W is the next option. Steve wants me to really plan A my butt off so when the dust settles from the exposure W will feel there is still some safety in the M.
Thank you again & I'll keep you posted </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hope I did that right!
