Hey guys, I am going into court in a few days in response to my wife initiating an order to show cause. It basically says that I have been breaking the restraining order and now she wants to add our kids to the order. If you do not know the story my wife had an affair and she went to a shelter when I found out because I found something I should not have next to my daughters bed on the floor. I threatened to take the children out of our home because I did not want our children falling over a condom on their floor ever again. My wife saw I was shocked and went to the shelter because she was afraid I would blow up. I have done just the opposite I ran after her to come back. The shelter told her to stay in the shelter for over a week she would have to get a restraining order to keep me away from the shelter. She reluctantly agreed. In New Mexico the minimum is for 1 year. Well shortly after going into the shelter she called me, a breaking of the order, and we have seen each other a couple of times each week since. She called every two days or so. I found out the A is still going on and now she is going into court because she is afraid that I will come get the kids. So, 1. Should I go into court and say nothing about her breaking the order about 40 times and her affair so that we keep the possibility of the relationship mending open 2. Should I fall on my sword and take full responsibility for all of the contact between her and I or 3. Blow her out of the water with facts and witnesses while fully understanding that if I take that tack I may lose her forever. Any advice? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Glenn - Sit tight and read this, brother. I am so sorry for what you are going through. This woman is a liar, is manipulative, and living in fantasy land. This woman's "shelter" may well be staffed with people with an agenda to paint you as an abuser and a beast. They may well appear on her behalf so be prepared. I feel that the truth should be made public. She should be exposed for the dysfunctional woman that she is, and you also have the children's welfare at stake. Do you really want a M based on a lie? What happens when the same thing occurs? The pattern of lies and deception will continue. To me, it's time to do a Barney Fifeism - "Nip it in the bud - Nip it! - Nip it!

Anytime a restraining order is issued the judge has a right to be made aware of the circumstances. No lies, no exagerations. Restraining orders and female infidelity go hand in hand and you need to fight it. We're talking about you losing everything you own and pretty much giving up your rights as a parent. Fight it.