I'd say I am praying for clarity from me..
I'd say I am praying for clarity for you...
I'd say I am praying for a lightning bolt in his general direction....

but I'd say again that I am praying for clarity from me...
and
praying for clarity for you....

no answer yet ms. martin...
but lots of prayers
and I am expecting an answer soon...

ark....

A.M. - Remember when I told you the little parable about the first rule of lifesaving?

You have a tumor hon, divorce sucks but it beats the heck out living with someone who treats you like crap.

There does not have to be a lot of chatting and ya don't have to go out for a beer with Hamster-man. Tell him to make a list of what he wants if it is OK with you sign off and cut the sum***** loose.

When is enough finally enough?

If he is asking for unreasonable settlement terms then fine, counter-sue for cause. Even in no-fault divorce states the court has the ability to award uneven settlements in cases of abuse or adultery.

Lose [censored], don't fight over silly stuff - if it comes down to a lamp you both want let him have the thing, scrape him off your shoe and take my original advice and get a puppy.

Seriously hon, this guy has been making you nuts for how long? he has paraded his wench in front of you and your friends for how long?

Yes, his serving you with papers is an absolute gift - signoff and cut him loose. If he destroys his life after that guess what? Not your problem. Even the Bible makes it pretty clear that when your spouse is nailing a bimbo you can cut them loose free of guilt or blame.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for forgivness but it is tough to forgive a guy who rubs your face in his continued disrespectful, cruel, spineless and basically sh!tty behavior. He has shown zero remorse or consideration and hasn't asked for forgiveness. If he was on fire I'd say you shouldn't even bother peeing on his head to put the falmes out. Enough already, you already have an anal orifice - you really don't need two.

Wanna get even with the OW? Let her have his sorry a$$ and in 5 years she'll be here telling us how she did everything for this loser and he shat all over her.

I'm pro-marriage... I am completely anti being a devoted spouse to someone who doesn't bother to give a flip about you or your feelings. A tumor is part of you too - but you cut the thing out, toss it in the trash and pray it doesn't come back. This guy is a tumor, nuff said.

Sorry to be so harsh but you once told me to whack you on the head if I thought you were going to easy on this loser.

Sign the papers, if the settlement ain't right let your shark fight his and the lawyers can have it all - if it is little stuff? $10k to get rid of this guy is cheap. Lose him, wash your hands, start over and think about you.... and I still think you oughtta replace the hamster with a nice warm puppy - at least they are loyal.

Sorry to be so blunt - that's why I don't post any longer... no patience for unrepentant WS's and I'm a little too harsh on BS's who don't kick them to the curb. Sorry to be rough here but I'll bet you money that if you allow yourself to worry and fret over this guy he'll still be a scumbag this time next year and you'll still be miserable - ENOUGH!

Oh 2oaK! So good to hear from you!

No, I don't mind the 2X4s! But they seem to be a bit redundant at this point, as I'm going through a divorce. I am trying to minimize contact, for the reasons Ark mentioned. I just don't see the point in any conversation. I don't want to help him pretend things are "good and normal." They aren't. But mostly, I just want to save my own energy.

Lor, how sweet! I actually missed your post yesterday somehow. It's not just that he thinks I can be snide -- it's that I really CAN be caustic. I guess I'll try to do what you say. It's just that I am not hard to draw out; it's easy to get an opinion from me, relevant or not. My self-control -- at least of my acerbic tongue -- is not all that good. When I let loose on him two weeks ago, it made me realize how much hadn't been said, and how easy it would be to unbolt some of it.

And Ark, thank you for your prayers.