Harley's...right now.

I need to hear someone's voice on this.

Hi Solon,

The Harleys' appt. scheduling # is 888.639.1639.

If they can't be scheduled soon, might try Penny Tupy (Cerri on MB) at 877.416.2657.

Now another approach for Penny is to email her at help@saveyourmarriagecentral.com.

Good luck, buddy.

if anyone has experience with a ws and is able, please call me within next 30mins...2023717447

What's going on solon?? Are you alright?


Octobergirl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Yeah, Solon...

Talk to us.
I'm really not qualified to help, esp. via phone (no experience, no time to think before I speak), but please do talk to us.

I just...this is really killing me. I need my wife right now. When we first moved here, I was in college. I was a premed major. I...it's just so much. Too much to even type.

I started working at a well known law firm because it was better pay and with two children I figured I needed to leave med school alone. Law interested me, but I would only apply to top tier schools. I didn't make it in. We were always depending on me getting into med/law school. Yesterday, I received an acceptance letter for law school this fall. This is great news. But I was supposed to be celebrating this with my wife. She is with another man.

And now, alone, if I go part time, I will only see the kids on the weekends. I need her home so I can see them when I get home and the mornings too. I am thinking I shouldn't even go so I won't lose my kids. But I cannot pass this opportunity. Too many scenarios are passing through my mind right now...

Hi Solon,

You're feeling a lot of pain right now becuase this should be something to be shared. I understand.

Now, take some deep breaths. If you feel you need more help, I suggest you go over to the Just Found Out Board. That's where Cerri hangs out mostly. Start a thread, calling her and Star*fish to help you. They work together and will be able to give you some good, calming advice.

Take care, and keep posting. You know it helps.

why is she doing this!?!?! She has every reason to come home and every reason not to stay away. Her family. A better life. Free of guilt. Closer to God. Why? Her attachment to him is that strong?!?! She has sex with him every night the kids are not there, I know it. She knows that is wrong. Is my marriage really over? Maybe I'm killing myself slowly by actually believing that there is hope when there really isn't any. But how can this be? I have known her since she was 15! As kids! I was her first! We were everything to each other! How can she live a life that is obviously no the best of conditions? For what? Will they really last? Is he that good? She constantly denies him. She hides him. It has been six months since she has moved out, a year since she first met the guy, has this passed the time frame? Is it safe to say she is not coming back home?

I've tried everything, including prayer. Am I to believe that she is not meant to be in this family? Should I file (like I had planned on doing) and pray that someone comes along when school starts that will help me with my children?

Solon,

I'm SO sorry.What pressure to be under huh.But it is great news otherwise.

Can you confirm the acceptance and just sit on it until the Fall comes seeing as you have no idea what things will be like at that time? At least you might think that you will be in a better frame of mind then.It is only January.Maybe when the time comes you will be more certain if you should go to school versus giving up time with the kids.

O

I have until Apr. 15.

I cannot believe her. She has caused SO much pain. Too much pain. And I officially hate this OM.

Yeah I can understand how you feel.I have hoped that the homewrecker would fall off the face of the earth myself.

Is there any financial stipulations with accepting the offer for school and then dropping out,so to speak,if in the Fall you were unable to attend dur to personal reasons?

O

Sign up and take this opportunity. Something will work out for you. Do not panic. This is something to be proud and happy about. Give yourself a pat on the back.

okay...I've calmed down and feel a bit better. I spoke with my mom. We talked about her moving up her! She lives in Alabama and I live in the DC area. If she came up here I could file for custody and she could take care of the children for me while I am in school. The evening program of law school is M-Th like 6-10 or 5-8 some nights. This would be perfect. I would have my mom here helping take care of the children and they would be here when I got home at night and when I woke up in the morning! Oh, I hope this works out.

You know, I am also seriously thinking about just filing for divorce. My wife is wrapped up in this big time! People keep telling me I just need to move on, that I am delusional, that I just can't accept what has happened. I think it may just be time. I HATE divorce, but she is actively living in adultry.

Solon!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! DO NOT, I'll say it again, DO NOT pass up this opportunity simply because your WW is not there to share it with you. 1) This is something YOU want, isn't it...Don't think about her for a minute, think about YOU and what YOU want for your future; and 2) This will do one of two things a-make you more appealing to her (okay, well, being a lawyer...don't know about that one, always been a black mark for me LOL) or show her you are moving on with our with out her and catch her attention.

Now, more importantly, what type of law do YOU want to practice? What law school? I am SO happy for you. I remember when I found out I was accepted into law school - cross of excitement, happiness, fear and just plain disbelief!!! I am corporate in-house for a LARGE (top 5), global petrochemical company - actually no longer in the Legal Department, now in a quasi-exec compliance role reporting to a VP. I really like it though. My very dear friend (more sister than friend) used to work for the same firm as former defense secretary Cohen - are you at that same firm by chance?

Again, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Focus on your accomplishment and, while it would be nice to share with WW, don't let that consume you. THIS IS YOUR DAY!!!

Regards,

Brit's Brat

Hang in there and go for it. My sister went to law school (Harvard) at 45. She went into huge debt - she owes over $100,000. But now she is a partner and absolutely loves it.

You can do this!

<small>[ January 29, 2004, 08:02 PM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>

I say plan on going to law school in the fall. This is something for YOU. Another thing, think how proud your children will be of you. They might not now know any difference but as they grow older and into adulthood they too will be very proud of there father. You are sending a good message to your children in that it is never too old to fulfill your dreams Maxlo

Hey Solon! You've got my number if you need to talk to someone. Program it into your phone, dude! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And congratulations on the law school acceptance! That's absolutely wonderful. Yes, you should plan on it, and yes, accept the help of your mom and anyone else who can give you a hand. (I'm in the DC area, remember, and will do what I can both directly and to help you find others who can help.)

You're right, Maxlo. The children need this more than anything. At the time when they will need me most and be most proud of me I would be there for them and be financially able to take better care of them.

Brit, I work for Skadden Arps now. I am a senior paralegal for them and I am in good with many of the partners here. My hope is to come work for them when I graduate.

Thanks everyone. I was so down yesterday. So down. I am just trying not to think of all this mess. I have to hold my head up high and move forward. A better day is coming. I know it!

As for my wife, I really cannot say much about her. She made her decision. She has made it. I cannot imagine me filing for divorce, I am so opposed to it, so I do not know what I will do. I just won't think about it at all right now. Just move forward.

Keep me in your prayers as I enter this next chapter of my life.

Hi solon,

Glad to hear you are feeling better today.It's great about your acceptance and also that your mom could come to help you out.I'm sure the kids would love to see "grandma" more!

You definitely need a break from thinking of WW.That's the beauty of Plan B for me.No decisions to be made on the D issue.Who knows.If WW were to find out about the law school,it may just make you more appealing and help to make WW more undecided.But,at least you and your kids will be looking good.


O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hey Just J! I did try to call you. I was a mess and would have probably only depressed you though.
Thank you so much for offering to help!

October, I will try and not think about any of this, but I know when Monday roles around and my kids are not there it will be hard. I really want them with me at all times. I just don't know if I should push for that, and on the other hand, I don't know why I should not push for it. I just don't know.