Hi everyone,

Just having a rough morning.I can't seem to get past some things that my WH does/did.I have been more angry lately and if WH were around I feel like I would slug him bigtime!

I can't past past the fact that WH was ready to ABANDON me and the children for this homewrecker he knew only WEEKS at DDay! He pretends to be the model dad but he only sees the kids once a month now and the children have no idea how this man put his SELFISH needs ahead of everyone especially his children not to mention me the WIFE!! I will NEVER forget that.

How can he live with himself?? He is trying to gather support from "friends" in CA that may not approve of what he's doing but won't say anything to his face about what a lying cheating self centered person he has become! I will never forget either how he turned his cell phone off when he was with the HW and we couldn't get in touch with him! Thank goodness there wasn't an emergency but how DARE he turn off his family for his own selfish reasons.GRRRRR.

And NOW,I have to go to my nieces birthday party in a couple of weeks and SEE him! UGH.How can I do that and maintain my composure knowing he is still in contact with that HW.He will be "home" for 4 days and I don't know how to work out who stays where and when yet but that's just more anguish.I don't want to see that selfish philanderer and I don't want him around the girls.All he does is call that homewrecker when he gets the first chance and he better not EVER do it in front of my girls or that cell phone is going to get tossed into the cornfields never to be heard from again!

I smashed and tore up a picture he made for me before we got married.It meant a lot to me before but means NOTHING to me now so I sprinkled the pieces over his office floor as a token of the destroyed marriage we have now.I also am going to take my MIL suggestion(at the time only kidding) and take my wedding cake top and smash it.The previous marriage we had is obliterated! If we ever survive together,a whole new marriage and cake,will need to be put in place! I have also taken all the family photos of him and I and put them in a box.I can't stand to look at him! He is no longer the loving husband and father we knew,he is "dead".New pictures will have to be taken to replace the old hurtful ones if he ever decides to be unselfish and put his family and our marriage first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Grrr

Thanks for listening.

O

OCTOBER:

It must be a part of our BS script. I got put up family pictures and smashed some, too. I still have not put them up again even though in RECOVERY.

You do not have to go to the niece's party. It's not recommended if you are in PLAN B. I was told to avoid seeing my FWH at all costs.

We've been put through a major life trauma. It's awful!!!

Hang in there!!!

Yep part of our script - I took down all of the pictures, mementos, etc. and put them in a box. Also got all of his stuff out of here and painted and redecorated. Now you would never know he lived here.

Octobergirl - he is also following the WS script. Try not to take it so personally (I know, how can we not?) But as you read more and more, these WS's are almost identical - they lose their brains, their honor, everything. They all do and say the same things.

I would take your niece a gift before the party and avoid it. After all why pretend that you are one big happy family? If your girls want to go, drop them off and pick them up later.

October, you sound like me last week.

How old are your children?

Well thanks for listening everyone.I went out for a drive to do some errands so I have regained my composure now.I also vented to my mom who has been a great sounding board.

But I also came back a little saddend because I went to an Inn in another town to do some shopping in the gift shop and I realized how long it's been since my WH was even the slightest bit romantic toward me.We haven't been anywhere together alone in so long.Ugh.

Solon-

my daughters are 9 and 12.Not really THAT young but if you knew them,you would understand what I mean.My daughters have been somewhat sheltered and "spoiled" (nicely)their whole lives.They are so sweet and gentle and have such a loving supportive family around them that something like Adultery would be so crushing.They would be devastated at the thought of something like that after so many years of mom and dad looking like the best married couple in the world and showering them with attention.

I really don't know just how much they would understand if I talked to them about it but I won't.My counselor also suggested that I don't at this point.As it is,they have not been told very much,just enough to satisfy their questions about the differences between mom and dad now.And my WH knows that if he ever tried to initiate some kind of gathering or meeting with this HW and our girls, he would be in serious trouble with me and his parents.

How are you doing today solon? Any better?

Believer-thanks for the laugh.When I read that you redecorated so that you couldn't even tell WH lived there,that made me smile.

Mimi- I am going to talk with my SIL and see if she would be very disappointed if I saw my niece another time.I am dreading this party and have to figure out a way to bow out gracefully.Thanks for the reminder.

Anyway,I rode the rollercoaster again but now I'm at the top,hopefullt for awhile.

O

Octobergirl -
Keep taking care of yourself and girls. If WH sticks to the script, he will be back around in the next couple of months. Rest up so you can work on recovery.

Your girls don't need to know about A. Just let them know there are problems and that you have a plan. That will give them a sense of safety. Also when they get married, know that you have set a good example for them.

Hang in there, we are all behind you.

Thanks believer.You always have such positive notes to give everyone.

How are YOU doing these days?

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Glad to hear that you have calmed down, October. Your daughters seem to be so precious. I hate that this is going on in your family. It is really just a terrible thing to happen to a family.

I am doing better today too. I have been numb for so long and I am coming to grips that this thing is just not going to work. Her heart is out of it and I think the best thing for me to do is just move on.

But hang in there. I think there is hope for you.

Octobergirl -
Things are fine with me. I FINALLY got back into Plan B. Thanks for the help. I came so close to taking him back.
Yesterday I took the neighborhood kids (6 boys) fishing. We had a great time. I spent the whole time, baiting, untangling lines, etc. We got some great pictures of two boys' first fish. They were thrilled.
Don't have any cornfields (is that where they grow corn?) around here, just the ocean.
I'm off work this week. Just taking a mini-vacation. It is so nice to be home. Of course I am on this board on and off, while working on things around the house.
Rest up and take care of yourself, so when he comes back you will have some strength left.