My husband and I are in recovery mode. However, I need help with my feelings! He has been so good to me, and things are going in a positive direction, but the slightest things trigger his affair, and I get so angry, and upset, and sick to my stomache. I can be happy one second with him, and the next second, I could be glaring off into space (I try not to let him know I am feeling this sometimes because it turns in to a long drawn out conversation that I don't always feel like getting into). OR, I become a total snot to him and he wonders where it came from. How do you deal with these episodes?

Rainbow,

What you are feeling is completely normal. Time is the only things that help those triggers. It has been 13 months and they still are around for me. Not as often, but still way more than I would want. I still have not had one day that I haven't thought about it or cried about it.

My husband usually can tell, if he is around. He mostly ignores it, sometimes he won't realize for a moment what is happening and he asks me what is wrong. He then realizes it. I know it hurts him that he inflicted such pain on me, but he can't go back and fix it anymore than I can shut off the hurt that I feel.

I wish I could tell you about a quick fix that would make everything disappear, but I can't. Trying to understand what and why it happened can help because it gives you some idea of what areas of your marriage need to be worked on. Try to focus on that.