I edited most of this post out, because I realized after chris responded, that I was just being whiney and knew the answer anyway - so the new question about Valentines Day:

I know I need to make the day special, but am not sure what to do to make it special for H. We have never really had a romantic V. day, because H is not very romantic. I was thinking of having a bouquet of flowers delivered to work, since we work together, with a special poem in it - but that's what I would want - maybe not him.

I want him to make it special for me, too, but guess that I can't control that much - he has a history of forgetting these things, or just getting a box of chocolates and a card, and calling it good.

What can I do to make it special for both of us - also - what if I plan something, and he plans something, and both plans don't work out together? (like, you both make dinner reservations to different restaurants?)

Liza

<small>[ February 03, 2004, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: Felina ]</small>

Are you seriously asking this question?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Chris - thanks for checking me on that one - I read your post, then reread mine and realized how stupid it was!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Guess I just had to get it off my chest and get over some old bitterness - Is the new one better? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Liza

<small>[ February 03, 2004, 12:21 AM: Message edited by: Felina ]</small>

Liza,

Go ahead and plan something, trying to keep his preferences in mind as much as possible. A dinner at his favorite restaurant, a night at home alone listening to his favorite CDs and getting a backrub, you cook his favorite meal and dine with him all decked out... whatever.

Tell him not to make plans for next Saturday, to keep his calendar free after 6 p.m. or whenever. That way no conflicting plans. Just don't be disappointed if all you get is a kiss or a card... after all, you *said* not to make plans!

Let us know what you come up with... we've never celebrated Valentine's day either. H says it's a cruel day, like celebrating "I don't have leprosy" day. It is the day his divorce from his ex was finalized, and we DO celebrate that. I just get him a funny card and tell him "Happy D. Day, baby!"

This year I think I'll get mushy, though. I want mushy, dammit, so I'm gonna GET mushy. So there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks Turtlehead, I was thinking about giving him a nice massage, and also getting him a gift certificate to get a professional one. His backs been sore since broken leg - crutches and one leg would do that.

I guess I've been pretty depressed the past day or two - I always wanted that typical, candlelight dinner, bouquet of roses, guy sweeps you off your feet and carries you into the bedroom, and romances you all night, bubble bath with rose pedals type of thing, but I guess I am just never going to get it out of H unless I do it myself. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

The other thing is - no candlelight (he can't see his food well enough), no dinner out (he always complains about how much it costs), almost anything I buy comes with "and just how much did that cost?" So I guess maybe it's a good home cooked dinner after kids go to bed, a couple roses with a heartfelt poem that I will write myself, and maybe a bit of evening romance, if he's in the mood. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I am sure tomorrow will be a better day.

Liza

<small>[ February 03, 2004, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: Felina ]</small>

Chris - thanks for checking me on that one
My pleasure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tell him not to make plans for next Saturday, to keep his calendar free after 6 p.m. or whenever. That way no conflicting plans. Just don't be disappointed if all you get is a kiss or a card... after all, you *said* not to make plans!
Exactly right!

Felina

You could always let your H know that you want this Valentine's Day to be special. Something you both can think about with fond memories. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Hopefully both of you will plan something special.

I'm not sure what we are going to do ourselves. Last V. Day I did what I could afford to do, but she didn't see it as anything. She was already in the beginnings of her EA. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Well, just a little blue myself. I'm going to do something, just don't know if Poe will or not.

Well, I've been quite down the last couple days - went to doc for annual stuff and talked to him about all this - he told me if depression didn't subside, he'd give me some stuff. I'm still holding off, because on the whole, the good days are a few more than the bad days.

Strangely, I am in a much better mood than earlier, and things seem alright. Spent some time riding the horses with all the girls at the barn - something I haven't done for quite a while - just something to get my mind off everything else - something about the bond of an animal to clean out the cobwebs and clear your head! I need to do that more often if it cheers me up this much - once H has his leg back, he will join us.

Thanks for the V day suggestions. We will figure something out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Liza