Wow. It was painful to watch today's Dr. Phil. Boy, that is one hopeless looking marriage! Any thoughts?

<small>[ June 12, 2004, 06:58 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Where I live Dr. Phil comes on in the evening as well, so I might watch it tonight if I can stand it.

I think the good Dr. sort of encourages the women in Marty's life to gang up on him. He is the whipping boy and you know why???

I think it is a ratings winner. It is after all a primarily women's show. Heck he is about the only male involved in the production or execution of the show, and women much prefer the entertainment of watching a cheating H being beat up to addressing LB's.

Sorry but I really think it is true. He seems to cut disrespectful behavior by the girls and the W a lot more slack than he does Marty.

I know my W and I both think the MAJOR problem in that marriage is HER, but clearly that must be a minority opinion, because Dr. Phil actually had a show where they had some of the most negative (and apparently there are a LOT of negative emails about Marty) people confront Marty. Marty wasn't to charitable in his response to them, but he was sure more polite than I would have been.

It is sort of turned into a freak show really and I wonder how much effort Dr. Phil is really putting into saving this marriage as much as to show how one can come apart.

I do suspect that his audience doesn't like it as much if he pushes the aggrieved betrayed W as if he pushes the wayward H.

Interestingly, as much as he states he is really worried about the girls, it is clear the girls really suffered from their mother's treatment of them or lack of it. And that has NOTHING to do with the A's.

Oh well, it makes good soap drama doesn't it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

JL

Phooey! I completely forgot to watch Thursday's show.I guess if Dr.Phil has a website,I will check it out.

O

My kids were up and about, and I didn't feel that today's episode of Dr.Phil was good for them to be around. (my sons are 4 1/2 yrs old, and the twins are almost 3yrs old).

However, I DID see a few minutes of the show.. I think it was right at the beginning... and Dr.Phil was just laying into Marty, after talking about how Erin had already been betrayed every 10 yrs or so, and he compounded that hurt. I saw her give him heck and try to explain how he crushed her heart, and just before I turned the tv to a kids show, I saw Marty bawling his eyes out and telling his W how sorry he was.

I then spoke aloud to the tv and said something along the lines of, "GOOD!". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Being a BS, I would have LOVED to see my stbxH show such remorse for his actions. But really, they have no idea what it is to be a BS, a hurt that is too deep to put into words, IMO.

Karen

p.s. I don't really follow that family series, but wasn't there already an episode that focused on Erin, and her "ways"?

Early in his career Dr. Phil wrote several good books that brought him fame. However, he has come down several notches in my book because of his show which I find very silly. Sorry, but I can't take the modern Dr. Phil seriously.

<small>[ February 06, 2004, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: *doorstop* ]</small>

It's interesting to read all your thoughts. I was wondering what others thought of the show. Thanks for sharing. I don't have time now to post a reply but would like to later.

God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by *doorstop*:
<strong> Early in his career Dr. Phil wrote several good books that brought him notoriety. However, he has come down several notches in my book because of his show which I find very silly. Sorry, but I can't take the modern Dr. Phil seriously. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He's come down several notches from being notorious? Wow, he must really be pretty low in your estimation now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well to be charitable, I think it is too much to expect him to counsel people on a show where there usually 3-4 situations on it. I think what the goal is to: 1. Provide entertainment 2. Illuminate some of the more common problems people face and some ideas for addressing them. 3. Cash a pretty good check.

I do get tired of him hawking his own books and even his family.

I guess what frustrates me watching the "family" thing is that while the BS has every right to feel devastated, IF they decide to stay in the marriage, some introspection and adjustment of perspectives must occur. If you read and I know virtually all of you have, Dr. Harley's writing, you know there is a burden on the BS to examine the marriage BEFORE the affair and figure out why things were out of whack for one or both of the partners. AND then make adjustments.

I don't see that going on with Erin. Now perhaps the good Dr. feels he needs to pummel the H until he "really get's it" before even addressing the other issues, I don't know. But, one can see that Marty is rebeling and has been for a long time. In my naive thinking, suspect that pushing him into a corner is NOT going to change the rebelion against women in his life.

On the other hand, Marty is like many BS's here: he wants the marriage to succeed. Sooo he gets to take the beating to make it work, just as many BS's here do.

I think watching that show last night, I get a deeper appreciation of why Harley may have gone the way he did in approaching marriage issues. No one wins if SOMEONE wins. Both parties must endup winning for this to work and they need to understand that they won. Not very easy I am thinking.

Oh Well, it is interesting to see the comments as well.

God Bless,

JL

This whole family thing has a "Jerry Springerish tone" that has really brought the show down a notch IMO. But as someone said it's about ratings. As for Marty & Erin these two have so much individual baggage from their pasts that's going to take a very long to work through. Until that's done the marriage is going to just limp along until Erin ends it. I think Marty just agreed to go on the show to get the free trip to Germany that's the only show that he seemed to be alive most of the shows he has this dead look in his eyes.

Erin and Marty are on ongoing series. You cannot judge Dr. Phil, Erin or Marty from that one show. Go back and read the transcripts from all the shows.

Erin and Marty BOTH are not perfect. Marty only plays lip service and Erin has been putting up with it for YEARS! And the result is what you saw yesterday -- a huge building of anger and resentment.

If you go back and read the transcripts, Marty will say anything on camera to come across as willing to try. Off the show, he does not. Before seeing Dr. Phil, Marty was even distant with his younger daughter and actually told her he didn't love her as much as he did the older daughter. He's a very immature man.

Erin was at the point of throwing in the towel when they came on the show. She has kept believing Marty when he attempts sincerity and say he's going to do better and try, blah, blah, blah. He doesn't. So the walls have been built around Erin.

This family has a LOT of issues and baggage that was brought into their marriage, you can't go blaming Erin's LB'g or Marty's A's... Like all our stories here -- you are only getting bits and pieces from one or the other perspective. Marty and Erin just decided to do it on national TV.

JL -

Wow, from the sounds of it, Dr. Phil probably wouldn't like me too much :-)

SKM,

Why would he not like you? What's not to like? In fact you would be perfect. You are photogenic (good looking), smart, well spoken, and got your stuff together.

Yeah, your right, you are too good to be on that show. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And if they brought on H with you, well the looks, the calm genial manner, the nonsense midwest approach to things would be cool to watch, but the good Dr. would have much fodder with him either.

Your right you two have it together far too much to be on his show.

JL

<small>[ February 06, 2004, 07:30 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

It's interesting hearing what everyone thinks. Yes, I suppose alot of it really comes down to ratings. I don't regularly watch either Oprah or Dr. Phil. I can only handle so much of psychologizing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And, to be honest, I can only handle so much of Marty and Erin.

<small>[ June 12, 2004, 06:59 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>