I must be a really rotten guy.

Please consider the following facts concerning my WW's affair with the OM.

1. OM lied repeatedly to his wife about the A. He is a liar.

2. After talking to OM's wife I have found out that about a year ago when they were in marriage counseling, the subject of my wife came up. At that time OM told the counselor that there was no affair going on between him and my wife. They were just good friends. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> However, the A was going full steam at that time. So the OM is a man who would lie to a marriage counselor trying to help him repair his marriage.

3. I also have found out from talking to OM's wife that during the MC sessions she complained that he was repeating private information and pillow-talk to my wife. He promised to his wife and the MC not to talk about private matters with my WW. Within a month he had broken that promise.

So here we have my wife leaving me for a man who lies to his wife, lies to his MC, and passes on private conversations with his spouse to other people in violation of his word.

Yet, my wife has chosen this liar and cheat, whose word is untrustworthy over me. Therefore, I must conclude that I am a really rotten person for my wife to make such a decision.

Well doorstop, your W will soon have the biggest wake up call she can possibly get. If she thinks that he will treat her any better, she's only fooling herself. Amazingly she is also a liar and a cheat, that makes for the perfect relationship.

Are you doing Plan A or Plan B?

She will wake up at some point and time.

Doorstop, if it makes you feel any better, my H is currently involved in an affair with a woman 13 years his junior who has no job, no income (lives on government assistance), is separated, has 3 children (2 she doesn't have custody of), no car, and no place to live right now. She's living with friends but they're tired of her already.

On the other hand, I make a decent living as an accountant, am a Christian, we have a nice house, I do have a car, I take care of our finances, I have never been on assistance and have had a job from the time we were married.

I have gone over and over in my head what he sees in her that I couldn't provide. (Not tooting my own horn here, but she's no better looking than I am either--I've seen her.)

I'm convinced it's a addiction, and they don't see any of the bad thing. They are living in fantasy land. Don't beat yourself up over not being good enough.

I know, doesn't make the pain go away. But don't put yourself down.

Doorstop,

No,no,no.Affairs are not about how the other person looks or that they necessarily offer anything "better" to our spouses,it's all fantasy.

Also,it is mostly about how these predators make our spouses FEEL about themselves.So,if you take a spouse,who may be in the middle of a MLC or has self esteem issues or isn't feeling good about their life and then ADD to the mix a predator(OM/OW) who knows how to talk a good talk and walk a good walk, there you go,infidelity.

When our spouses are in the fog,they cannot see what these cheaters really are,they look and act like some hero or damsel in distress from the movies.You know that.Just plain common sense tells you that this OM that your WW is seeing is not the best choice for anyone in a relationship given just how much he has been lying.Then who knows what else he is sorely lacking in.

Don't be so hard on yourself.Remember,it is more about them than us.

O

Yet, my wife has chosen this liar and cheat, whose word is untrustworthy over me.
She "chose" him simply because she is a liar and a cheat as well. Which also means it cannot work because of this.

Read the links below.

<small>[ February 09, 2004, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

I guess I am not such a bad guy afterall. My wife's taste in men certainly has down hill though.

Which also means it cannot work because of this.
This meant that the affair cannot work.