Brett -

Well at least you didn't have to talk about divorce. I had a fun day - went fishing in the ocean. My boys and their friends and I all went. We waded way out - actually they went out past the breakers. I caught two fish but let them go.

Then we came home to some baked chicken that I put in oven when we left. It was a nice day.

I hope you will go out and have some fun. There are lots of things to do. I didn't think about WH all day.

The weather was great today! To bad I had to spend it at work. Right in the middle of the day I went out for "lunch" with the window rolled down just letting the breeze blow in. While I roasted my tires into a cloud of black billowing rubber! Such pleasure gained from something so juvenile. The body grows older, but my spirit never does, strange but I feel no different than I did 10-15yrs ago(mentally). I'll probably wash/wax the hot rod the next couple days. I plan on dropping the frame out from under the other Camaro.I plan on sealing my inlaws new driveway. I'm also going to the gym with my broken toe. That should just about cover my weekend.Of course I'll cruise on over to the park with my dog and let her chase ducks/geese. Like I said the body grows old,but the spirit never does.

Yes, I was relieved she snuck in-n-out. There was a part of me that was a bit bummed out though. She has it set up now to a point where we actually don't have to see each other anymore.
My guess it is hard on her,to see me.So she does it intentionally. Sometimes I get angry about this and want to be mean. Borrow some gals perfume and spray it around the house for her arrival on Sundays.Maybe mess the bed all up and leave it that way.But of course I don't, I leave our portraits up, keep the house tidy,etc.

My feet are on the deck of that ship and that door behind me is only slightly ajar. My anxiety is trying to rush my will into this. She has only been gone 2 months. I've probably got 2 more to hang on. That is if history repeats itself. But I worry this OM is different than the last. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. She has OM wearing one of my favorite colognes now,Drakkar. I haven't worn it in a couple years. But he seems to want to "mark" his territory. Last week it smelled like he had sprayed my WW with it before I went to her apartment. Plus he gets it on our dog. I started it. About a month ago I got the cologne I wear and "scented" the dog with it before WW picked her up(dumb/childish). I wonder what other parts of our lives she has tried to get OM to replace me in? Other than the obvious.

Well, how are you doin' SS? Sounds like Believer had a good time today. SS..I like it, same as my hot rod, Super Sport(SS Camaro).

As always I pray to God for guidance in his will, strength to make it there and peace to wait for it. Also a bit of healing for my toe. Which by the way is doing rather well. I've actually got some flexibility in my foot today and not as much of a limp. Hmmm.. a miracle in the works? I did go see Passion of the Christ the day after I broke my toe. My toe doesn't deserve that. I'd rather see some kid with Leukemia or some other horrible disease receive miraculous healing than my insignificant toe.

I could ramble on and on. But I'll stop. I need to get out more. This is a great place to chat, with wonderful people to chat with, but nothing beats human interaction in the flesh.

Brett -

I sure wish you were here in Southern California. Today my car overheated and something awful happened. I took son to get his driver's license (yay he passed). On the way home I noticed the temp gauge was going up. It went all the way to the top of normal, but not to hot.

So we stopped to get a breakfast burrito to celebrate him passing and got cups of water and poured them in the hole. Then started the car and clouds (and I mean clouds) of smoke started pouring out the exhaust. So I parked the car and we walked home.

Do you know what could have happened?

If it was clouds of white smoke coming from the exhaust, that is not good. Pull the dip stick and see if there is water in your oil. The oil should be black/clear/brownish. If it is milky looking you have a blown head gasket.

Yep, clouds of white smoke, and when I put antifreeze in, it came out the tailpipe (the antifreeze). How much will that cost?

Believer,

I did this same thing a few years ago and it costs me around 500.00 to get it fixed. Not sure now and state that you are in it might be little more or a little less.

NY

Hey isn't it sad I have to ask somebody on the other side of the country. My H works on his own car, but refuses to work on mine, never has. I'm not going to tell him. He will just yell at me that I didn't check the water. I did, just last month and added some.

The funny thing is it was running fine and cool. This happened so suddenly. It turned real hot here. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Well, my "Check oil" light came on the other day, does that count? I was going to rush over to Jiffy Lube, but it didn't come back on again.

I know, Brett is probably shaking his head at me right now. I will go get lubed. It's just not at the top of my priority list!

I LOVED the Passion of the Christ movie. I made myself watch all of it. I wanted to close my eyes and plug my ears during the crucifiction scenes, but I made myself watch and listen.

I feel that if He lived it, I had to watch it. I also felt much perspective when I left the theater. I felt like my mental anguish was pretty puny in comparison, and things could be worse.

I have also thought that if my kids were diagnosed with lukemia or something horrible, that I would gladly trade that for losing anything else in my life. Does that make sense?

WH in the fog doesn't seem so bad compared to those two things (crucifiction and lukemia).

I'm glad your toe is feeling better so you can be immature and squeal and burn your tires more. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I know how important it is for men to have their toys.

Do you like your new IC? Is it a man or woman?

I meet with WH and his IC tomorrow. I am going to pray for inner peace, calmness, clarity, and understanding. Please pray for me, too. I need all the help I can get.

Most of the time at these things, it seems like he tries to say anything that is hurtful that he can think of to me. It is probably guilt, shame, and withdrawal, but it hurts me so badly. Especially on top of everything else.

I hope he starts emerging from the fog soon. I know we all say that, and hope that. But mine is not even with OW anymore! I feel like chopped rotten liver to not be chosen over a big fat NOTHING! Geez.

My ego has taken a beating, I tell ya.

Chat at you later. The boys have Scouts tonight. Puke, yak, gag. I hope we can get this issue resolved soon. I am going to go to the gym, do the elliptical trainer and pump some iron. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

SS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Spider Slayer:
<strong> Well, my "Check oil" light came on the other day, does that count? I was going to rush over to Jiffy Lube, but it didn't come back on again.

<snip>
SS </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Arrrrrggggghhhh,

Check your oil!!!! You can get a quart of oil for $2 or less. A new engine is $2000 or more.

I'll probably get flamed for this, but if you check the owners manual of your car, the carmaker probably suggests checking your oil at EVERY fuel stop, or at least once a week.

So while I can't tell you what to do, some very smart people say you should check it very frequently.

Does everyone find something wrong? Nope, but if you do, it's a lot less money to put in one or two of those $2 quarts of oil than it is to be without your car for days or a week and writing that big $2K check or selling the car at a loss and buying a new one. (That solution costs even more.)

Ok, I'm a car care freak, and I drive two cars that are over 100K miles and 9+ years old

So if you at a gas station in the St. Louis area and you see a 30 something man checking his oil, it's probably me, LOL

Tony

Wow, Tony, I thought only Brett would care that much. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My first car was a Toyota Celica. I had no clue about oil. Or water, anitfreeze, tires, windshield wiper fluid, um, or anything besides putting the gas in.

And one day I was driving, and a LOT of black smoke was coming out of the back of my car! So, I pulled over at a Chevron that has mechanics, and this guy comes out. He's asking me about when I checked my oil last.

I said, oil? So, he pulls out the dipstick - bone dry. He puts in a LOT of oil, and sends me on my way.

Good thing I met WH - he saved that car. I got fluids, checkups, oil changes, and new tires! And I didn't appreciate it at all when I was 16. Now I know he did it because he loved me, and didn't want me stuck on the side of the road somewhere with a broken-down car.

I have driven through St. Louis several times. Love the arch. Once we got lost and ended up on the wrong side of town. It was very scary. Especially with two babies in the car.

Thanks for taking an interest in my oil. I promise I will get it done tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Spider Slayer:
<strong>

Good thing I met WH - he saved that car. I got fluids, checkups, oil changes, and new tires! And I didn't appreciate it at all when I was 16. Now I know he did it because he loved me, and didn't want me stuck on the side of the road somewhere with a broken-down car.


SS </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey,

If I give you my WW's phone number will you call her and explain what you said.

That is how I demonstrated my love for her and the kiddos.

I guess it wasn't exciting enough and it certainly didn't meet her needs <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I too have a wife that filed for divorce.

I got the copy of her filing on Friday 2/13/04

Happy Valentines Day!!!! LOL

Tony

Tony - I think I will post a new topic on this. Yes my H always yelled at me about this. I always get the oil changed, but never check anything. My WH has shown me where oil and water go. But I never can remember.

I think women think that if the car is still moving, everything is OK. My son went with me to put anti-freeze in the car. I found out I put it in the wrong hole. I put it in the big reservoir. But there is another pipe that goes to the radiator. Anyway, he put it in there and I started the car, and antifreeze came out the tailpipe.

So I called a mechanic that comes to the house. He says that the head gasket is probably bad, also maybe the heads, and after that he has to figure out why the water was gone, to the tune of about $800. So I guess checking the stuff would have been cheaper. Plus I have no car to drive to work. What a drag.

That sounds about right $800. Sorry to hear that.
My newest vehicle is a 1978 truck, so I check under the hood often. My WW took the 95 TA and the 84 K5. The latter is still at my house, where I've tinkered with it the last 2 months. So she'll have a good vehicle to share with OM and his kids!

My WW actually knew quite a bit about cars. It was our recreational companionship thing. She took auto shop in H.S. Competed in some competitions they had(brake job). Plus she is a real looker. It is going to be hard to replace that. I've had so many friends over the years that have had to give up their hot rods cuz W didn't understand.

Yes SS I am shaking my head. Oil light on=bad. They don't call those idiot lights for nothing. Not saying you're an idiot. They are known as idiot lights cuz when they come on it is usually too late and you feel like an idiot for not checking sooner.

Well believer maybe this will turn into something good. Like you'll meet some good looking mechanic, who wants to fix things for you.

I picked up supplies for sealing FIL driveway today. The rest of the day I spent dropping the frame out from under my other hot rod.The weather was so beautiful. I would have loved to jam on a pair of running shoes and hit the road today. But nooooo, I had to be a clutz and break a toe.

My IC is a man, very talented and much in demand. I've had to set my appt's up for a month ahead. I'm seeing him in the a.m.

OK, I'm going to let the idiot comment slide right off me. Hm.

But what does it mean when the light goes off? It was only on for about 5 minutes. Maybe there is a short in the light. Hm?

Let me know how your appointment goes tomorrow. I meet with WH's IC tomorrow, too. I feel gun-shy about it.

Chat at you later. We are going to Old Chicago at the mall for dinner. WH has the boys at Scouts. He's getting his OW fix. Puke gag hurl.

SS

Brett -

Thanks for the information. Your wife is very different than most women. I love cars, but don't know the first thing about them. So I guess I will pay the price.

Hang in there. You are a good man. You will come out of this ahead. Your wife does not know what she is losing.

You may be right SS. If the light went out could be a short. I roasted an engine in my first 68 Camaro, cuz I was an idiot and I had idiot lights. Ever since then I like to rely on mechanical gauges, with numbers and a needle.

I need to win the lottery. The hot rod in the garage is taking on a life of its own and interjecting nasty ideas into my gray matter. It is going to be bad, scary and fast. When I mash the throttle with my big foot, I wanna be scared! I'm becoming the guy that the previous owner didn't want to sell the car to. I'll keep it streetable, just to pacify my conscience on that matter. He didn't want it to become a cut up race car. It will be as fast as my wallet will allow. Good hobby, keeps my focus on something that "I can" control.

Well, I got home a bit late from my dinner, and WH was here. When I entered, he had a weird look on his face. And he said, "Well, I'm outta here. You guys be good [to the boys]." And he left.

Wouldn't even look at me.

This sucks.

What did I do to him??? Love him? Geez. I am NOT looking forward to this appointment tomorrow.

SS

My take on that SS is probably the same as my WW. She has the doggie swap down to a weekly thing. She most of the time sneaks in and out. She doesn't call that much anymore. She won't initiate email. She doesn't talk to her folks except for the house stuff. My take is the pain of seeing, talking or thinking about me is too much. She is feeling very guilty. Deep down inside her somewhere is a feeling that what she did was wrong. Her self esteem is very low right now. The only escape from any of this is her relationship with OM. With your WH he doesn't have a relationship with OW like my WW has with OM. So all he has is a withdrawal and guilty pain with you. So he is trying to escape by very little contact with you.

I've got to get ready for my IC session. Talk at ya later.
Brett

Good IC session today. Received email from WW; "don't mean to be pushy, but have you signed the D papers yet? Just want to get things moving."

I replied "No I haven't. I'm getting real close, real close." That folks is no b.s. I am close. My past before M is being dealt with finally. Realizing that my past has led to things in my life that I have allowed to be a part of my life. And WW multiple A's are a form of abuse. No more.No more.

brett -
Good for you. Next time she asks you can tell her you are getting closer, and closer. I hope you will really work with IC before you make any decisions.

Also try to get the house, so that if she wants to divorce and later wants to come back, you have not lost everything.