For those that missed yesterday's show ( Meet the Newest Dr. Phil Family ), here's a small summary:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Stacy's History

Stacy has been married three times and has five children. One child she sent to live with his biological father and another son was given up for adoption.

Marriage Woes

Stacy admits that she's had three affairs since she wed Chris five-and-a-half years ago. Her recent fling led to a baby that she gave up for adoption. "I was furious. I was shocked beyond belief," says Chris of his wife's infidelity.

How has adultery impacted this marriage?

"My Mom is a Hypocrite"

Fourteen-year-old Brianne found Stacy's maternity pants in the laundry, but was devastated to learn that stepdad Chris wasn't the baby's father. "I'm very angry with my mom for betraying me and my family," says Brianne.

Brianne's story.

An Aggressive Son

Chris fears for the safety of his 4-year-old son Chandler because of stepson Michael's aggressive behavior. Stacy sent another son, Braeden, to live with his father because she couldn't protect Braeden from Michael.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Next Tuesday the saga continues.

Yes. I identify with Chris. Unconditional commitment. I'll stay with you no matter what. And he did.

Hey there 'ol TMCM. Thanks for posting that update, I rarely get home in time to watch Dr. Phil these days. Talk about a dysfunctional family with more issues than several of us here put together. I guess if nothing else, seeing how bizarre their lives are makes some of ours look simpler and more manageable.

Jen

Yes, I watched it.

They have a lot of problems and it reminded me so much of many of the messages here at MB.

Dr. Phil says there has to be TOTAL HONESTY, which is what we have learned at this site, anything less, just leads to more woe.

Dr. Phil talked about it being like a cancer and you don't just take out part of the cancer, you have to get to and remove the root of it or it will just come back. (Just like in relationship problems.)

I think this lady has an addiction to the thrill of being needed by someone else other than her husband. She craves the attention and affection.

The baby she gave up for adoption had a black man for his father.

I hope their marriage can be rescued but BOTH spouses have to be 100% willing, for it to work.
Love, Julie

Yes Jen it is a very sad story for ALL parties involved. I'm going to try to watch next Tuesday's show.

I read your last thread and I just want to say how sorry I am that your XH did not want to make the effort to save the M. His loss will be another man's gain.

I'm not trying to thread jack, just a quick comment: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I read your last thread and I just want to say how sorry I am that your XH did not want to make the effort to save the M. His loss will be another man's gain. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, he was willing to work on it, but not in as constructive a way as I needed from him. He was content to continue without a commitment of any kind (I'd asked for a commitment of seeing each other 2x a week, he freaked and said not to put pressure on him), and just take things as they came, still, 20 months into this mess. That just wasn't good enough for me.

Jen

I too saw that episode. I think the most shocking thing about the whole situation is that this woman is a marriage and family counselor. That just confirmed to me that all who claim to be counselors are not necessarily ones from which to seek counsel! I think she even had a masters. Where did she find the time to go to school between all the child-bearing/multiple marriages/adulteries? (she was married at 17)

An adulterous wife with 3 marriages under her belt (no pun intended), $125,000 in debt, parents who will say I told you so, a son out of control, a gambling/spending problem, and national television coverage. I am wondering if these people aren't several bricks short of a full load. Is there some kind of sick need for attention?

She said she had an affair during her second marriage because her husband paid too much attention to her and her excuse for the affairs in her third marriage was that he didn't pay enough attention to her. Whew!

It doesn't look like the previous family Dr. Phil took on is fairing too well. I think he might want to rethink this plan. It will keep the ratings up in the short run but will it prove successful in the long run? Time will tell. He may become a laughing stock. It seems these families have way too many problems.

Sadly she reminded me of xow. Desperate to find men with no regard to their marital status or hers either. I think there's a deep seeded sickness that Dr. Phil is not going to solve in 13 episodes much less even discover it's full extent. The whole situation just reeks of failure in the venue he has set up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think the most shocking thing about the whole situation is that this woman is a marriage and family counselor. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OMG!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I missed that part! I bet she looses a LOT of business!! - Dru

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It seems these families have way too many problems.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I dont know... if he can get these families to sit at a table together without throwing food at each other he'll be labeled a genius. He picked the ones with the most potential, that's for sure. - Dru

Hi Gang -

I know this post may sound somewhat biased, but Stacy is a personal friend of mine. We live in the same city and met through a life makeover group that another woman and I spearheaded through Cheryl Richardson's website (she is the well-known life coach that once made regular appearances on Oprah, much like Dr. Phil ... now she has her own show on the cable channel Oxygen, I believe).

She (Stacy) has been lost and in fog for a very, very long time ... long before she married Christian (obviously). I'm not trying to sound like the devil's advocate here, but this woman needs prayer. I have told her time and time and time again (long before my H's infidelity) that her focus in on attention rather than the Lord or her family priorities. She also did not tell me or our group of her affairs, which explains a lot of her behavior at the time our makeover group was most active. In the time I have known her, she has never been an active counselor. She has mostly done case work for various charitable organizations where we live.

She is seeking answers, and just is not willing to look to the only source that will offer them ... our Father. Hopefully, one day she will. God will keep allowing circumstances that landed her on the show to keep happening unless she does. Stacy is a good woman who wants to do right ... just like my H. Even though Phil is one helluva doctor, he is a secular one and his solutions will only be utilized as a pacifier by both Stacy and Chris until the real work in Him begins.

Please pray for her and her entire family.

You are right Pepper (as usual) that Dr Phil did not let her get away with her playing the victim and he offered the following strategies and tools for her and her H to save their marriage:

1. Stop Playing Games
Dr. Phil tells Stacy that her affairs were a bid for attention from her husband Chris. "Isn't the price of admission that your husband has to pay and your children have to pay a pretty high ticket price for you to get in that game and be entertained?" he asks. He advises Stacy to stop thinking that she's smarter than everyone else is and start becoming a responsible member of her family.

2. Hide Nothing
"I have a philosophy. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing," states Dr. Phil. He informs Stacy that she's going to have to become a picture window and stop the smoke and mirrors. "Stop hiding, stop lying, stop cheating and stop manipulating," Dr. Phil cautions.

3. Don't Take Ownership of Others' Mistakes
Dr. Phil warns Chris that blaming himself for his wife's decision to have affairs is an unfair move. He tells Chris that even though he isn't a perfect husband, Chris doesn't own Stacy's decision to cheat.

4. Turning Away From Your Partner Won't Fix the Problem
"Stay plugged in and stay hooked up," advises Dr. Phil. If couples have problems within their marriage, they need to deal with those problems inside the union. "You need to be either a 100 percent here or a 100 percent gone," he warns.

5. Set a Standard
Many marriages suffer because spouses often fail to set parameters within the relationship on how they want to be treated. Refuse to stand for disrespect or neglect. "The standard is treat me with dignity and respect or not at all," Dr. Phil explains.

At the end of the show there was a short glimpse into next Tuesday's follow up with Stacy and family. It doesn't look very promising.

Seafan, I agree this woman does need prayers as well as her entire family. I don't know why you would consider asking for prayer as being the devil's advocate-quite the contrary.

Another thing that bothered me was that Chris made he comment that she had an affair with a black man. What difference does it make what color his skin is? An affair is an affair.

I noticed that they are Mormon and the Mormons have a long history of racial prejudice especially against "blacks." It seemed his race was as big of an offense as the affair.

My prayers for this family most importantly will be that they will be lead out of this cult and its heresies...there maybe they can find guidance and peace.

jph -

This is my prayer for Stacy and her family almost daily. Thank you for extending this tremendous gift to her ... I am a firm believer that where two or more are gathered in prayer ... watch out!!

Jazzey ...

Yes, there is a little more to the situation than what you saw on the episode ... but all of this family's problems stem from the same issues that we deal with on this site daily. And all should be remedied the same way ... through God ... any other way will either not work or take an awful lot of time TO work. I'm sorry I cannot go into more detail here, but hopefully one day Stacy will reap the benefits of this site and will read this thread. I cannot break a confidence to her and her family simply because you never know who could be reading these threads ... I would never want to place her or her family in jeopardy over something that I have revealed.

The best we can do here is continue praying and watch the show(s) in hopes of learning from their terrible mistakes. Both Stacy and Chris have not lived up to their responsibilities of leading a marriage and family ... I sincerely hope one day they will.