I am filing for Divorce.I am tired of feeling sick to my stomach,tired of the nightmares,tired of this WH going from job to job that takes him away from home.I have been alone since last summer while WH had and has his affair.I have endured his unspeakable pain and indecision,endured his selfishness.I have unwanted knowledge of this new ring that WH wears signifying his "love" for this homewrecker that he is still in contact with.I have endured being an afterthoguht a second in his life.I have endured the homewreckers affect on my marriage and Dr.Harley's knowledge that that "love" will never truly go away.

I have come to the realization that why I am so horribly afflicted is because I am holding on to what was and not what is.I can no longer speak that mans name nor see his lying cheating face nor wear his wedding ring.I cannot <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thank you for all who had posted to me in the beginning.Your advice was much appreciated.Take care all.

It has only been two months since you plan B. Isn't that too short?

I don't know. As you know i am still at the beginning of mine...not even one week yet. I guess, i would also do something like what you are planning now if and when i reach your point.

During the whole time (plan B) did he contacted you?

This is your decision. If you feel you are done waiting then i guess why not...

i am a bit sad to read that you are giving up. To read your posting makes me feel like there is no hope in mine either and eventually i might have to do the same thing too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Octobergirl-

Well, I am right behind you. I am going back and forth between Divorce and Separation. I finally have gotten back to Plan B. It really helps.

I, too have been alone since last summer. Even before that, I was alone. He already had OW, and I had no clue.

So I know what you are going through. I am going to stay in Plan B, so that I can say I did all that I could to save marriage.

Luckily, with the support here, I have finally accepted what is. And that is NOTHING. But I am continuing on with this plan. I hope you will too.

<small>[ February 12, 2004, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>

Octobergirl-

Feeling any better today?

Octobergirl

Hi! Is not that I'm trying to change your mind. But from someone who has been in your spot for far longer that I wanted, just think things over a bit more.

I read your signature line, and your D-day was not so long ago.

I'm going to tell you a bit of my story, and see if it can help you.

My H's A was more that a year and a half ago. I found out a year ago, and only 2 weeks ago he ended the A. I wish I were one of the lucky ones that their H's came out of the fog on d-day, but I was not. In all this time, I been on plan A twice, and failed plan B twice. Now I don't know were I'm yet since we are talking everyday, but still not together.

My point is, that in all this time, I have learned a lot of things, sure there were times the pain was almost unbearable and all, but I was not ready to D for the wrong reasons.

You have to learn how to be patient. If you believe in God, your vows or in your M, and also in the man your H can become after this. Think over this desition. You are into this for the long run. Nothing that requires deep changes, gets done in a day. It takes time.

Besides, I would want to ask you, since the date is so short... Have you done anything in your power to rebuild your M??? If you D are you going to go ahead and do it calm because you knew you did all in your power?? Are you 100% sure you want to do this now?? Why??? Just to stop the pain?

So I advice you... unless you are 100000% sure about this step, don't do it. Not because your family or friends tell you to, not because you are hurt now, when the time comes, you will do it and for the right reasons <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Take good care

I am not one to lend advice but IMHO I agree with Matilde. Make sure you realllllyyyy want to do this before proceeding. Be 1000000000% sure.

Take this thing one day at a time....preserve your Plan A FOR YOU if not for your M....believe in yourself that YOU will come out of this the better person, whether your M is intact or not. Take care of yourself, think for yourself, get exercise when those doubting moments come...and stare at the sky and ponder the incredible opportunity each day brings for your life.

I wish you the best of luck. I noticed in your sig line that your D-Day and mine are the same.

bumbing for OG </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">by Octobergirl: I am filing for Divorce.I am tired of feeling sick to my stomach,tired of the nightmares,tired of this WH... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Octobergirl.
I have read some of your posts, and I know you have been through so much. I'm bumping for better advise than I would give you...

Please be careful and try to stay calm. I am sorry - Dru

If you can truly and honestly say that you feel that you have done anything and everything to save your marriage, then I support your decision.

Only YOU have the ability to know when YOU are ready for this step.

I have been where you are....but thankfully I never had to go through with it.

Here's something to take with you....something I learned.

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">zizzycool
Member
Member # 30296

posted February 12, 2004 10:47 PM
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It has only been two months since you plan B. Isn't that too short?

I don't know. As you know i am still at the beginning of mine...not even one week yet. I guess, i would also do something like what you are planning now if and when i reach your point.

During the whole time (plan B) did he contacted you?

This is your decision. If you feel you are done waiting then i guess why not...

i am a bit sad to read that you are giving up. To read your posting makes me feel like there is no hope in mine either and eventually i might have to do the same thing too. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">zizzy,

I wouldn't look at this as OG is giving up. If this is truly how she feels then she has merely reached the end of her rope. We all have an end to our ropes.....some of our ropes are just a bit longer than others.

Do not let one thing that doesn't work out for another have an affect on your situation....though they sound similar...they are each different with different results.

Edited because I have a typo problem. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ February 13, 2004, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</small>