If you've followed my story, this will make sense, otherwise I apologize in advance for confusing anyone.

Just got off the phone with my STBXH. Among other things discussed tonight, he confessed and apologized for having oral sex with one of his little EA youknowwhats and for having sex several times off and on with EA youknowwhat #2. He says it all happened during our separation.

He kept repeating "so do you hate me?" Oddly enough I don't, because he just finally confirmed my suspicions anyways. I don't feel in love with him that is for sure, but I don't hate him. As I told him, I just feel sort of sorry for him, for how he lets his KISA complex (I even explained what that was to him) get the better of him. He agree that is pretty much what he's like too - a KISA (a man who likes to be though of as a Knight In Shining Armour who is admired by and able to rescue and assist needy little women).

I'm almost laughing right now. Nice that he waited until I snapped to my senses and put the Dv thru before he botherd to tell me, isn't it?

Well folks, my instincts were right, and so were yours!

Thank God I got out.

Jen

Jen I wouldn't pick that stone up to cast.

All it confirms is that he never really intended to work on the marriage all those months.

And that is the important part....the knowledge that he wasn't going to work on the marriage is what would have been helpful not his other conduct.

aww SDFR let her have her moment.

She was right, after months of being told something else by him she was right. It confirms that she really did know what was going on and not being paranoid
... that's confidence building in and of itself.

way2

Well actually I could join the long line of people saying

WE TOLD YOU SO!!!!

But hey if makes you feel better Jen bless you my child.

And way2 I will tell you the samething I told Dobie.......bite me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

All kidding aside Jen I am glad to see you finally seeing your ex as he truly was. But I wouldn't have ill feelings towards the OW he was using them as well.

<small>[ February 13, 2004, 08:20 AM: Message edited by: stunned-dad-fast recovering ]</small>

Don't worry, I don't plan to cast any stones, the best revenge is living well. The meanest thing that I will ever do to those women if I see them is if they try to say hello or anything to me I will simply tell them, "Do not talk to me."

You know what's sad though? I trust my STBXH so little that I wonder if he made it all up in yet another attempt to manipulate me.....an attempt to hurt me in order for him to be able to kiss up to me (old cycle)....or to make me hate him....or some other reason I haven't figured out yet.

He also confessed with a self-satisfied giggle that he truly does know what our house is worth, and that I could've gotten more $$$ if I'd dragged things through the courts.

Regardless, our convo last night confirms for me that I shouldn't trust him AT ALL and the amount of concern that he has for me and my feelings is NEXT TO NONE.

Oh, and here's a sick little kicker IMO, the one girl, the one that just had oral sex with him, and who also happened to be "our friend" for about 3 years prior to our separation, that's the girl that's dating my STBXH's brother. They're "so in love" and have been together for 8 months. BUT brother doesn't know about the whole oral sex escapade with my STBXH. The drunken oral sex escapade ended in them waking up together and her thinking they were therefore a couple and they were in love and my H wasn't into it like that, which made her angry and within weeks she started dating his brother. Classy stuff isn't it? Nah, just gossip I suppose.

What a jerk for stringing me along all this time. But I also could say, what a naive easily manipulated fool I was, being strung along all this time.

Jen

<small>[ February 13, 2004, 08:34 AM: Message edited by: Jen Brown ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What a jerk for stringing me along all this time. But I also could say, what a naive easily manipulated fool I was, being strung along all this time.

Jen</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jen to paraphrase one of JL's sayings "Harboring bitterness and esentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die". It's ok to vent but be very careful that this doesn't turn into bitterness and resentment that eventually takes permanent residence in your heart. It's very sad when this happens to a beautiful person so please be very careful.

Jen

Better to feel foolish for trying to hard then spend the rest of your life feeling bad that you didn't try hard enough.

You did the right thing even if you didn't do it by the book.....something so emotional I don't think anybody does it by the book.

If anything, the nicest thing about his honesty (FINALLY!), is that it helps to assure you that you truly are NOT crazy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That in itself must be a HUGE relief for you.

It is a shame that he waited so long to tell you about it, even though you already KNEW it had happened deep inside your gut.

Correct me if I"m wrong... but didn't the one bimbo that you were friendly with, whom you shared the common interest in disliking the other bimbo... isn't SHE the one who had oral sex with your H? And along those same lines... again.. tell me if I'm wrong here.. but didn't she ASSURE you that NOTHING happened between the two of them?? Geesh... all the more reason to have NOTHING to do with outside parties. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> She put you on another roller coaster ride that you didn't need.. probably all b/c she was jealous that the other bimbo did more. Ugh! These people make me sick!!!

Good riddance to them all, is what I say Jen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Karen

Jen:

the good news is that your X learned a little 2day.

The better news is that they're not your problem anymore.

-2long