Well I dont even know where to begin. All I know is that I have totally lost control of this nightmare I have been living for 1-year. There are many wonderful people on this board who have given advice. Advice I know was correct and most likely accurate. But I just couldnt do it. Why?? Because all of sudden this past year I have become this weak, scared individual I never was before. A person I dont like very much right now. What has prompted this post, a few things: Today is my wedding anniversary and also 1 year anniversary of D-Day. My situation only continues to worsen and I look at my WH and have no idea who he is or what happened. I look at my kids and think oh my God what have I done. Look who their Father is. WH PA with OW1 is over but still talks to her. Has turned all his attention to OW2..difinite EA but WH denys PA (yea right). There is also OW3 who came into the picture about 2 months ago dont know too much about this one. WH lies to me about everything. Tells me he doent know if he wants to be my H anymore. WH has some deep rooted problems-this is scaring me to death. Now for the most recent devastation, this morning about 5:00am, of business truck got repossessed. This is our livelihood. Our financial problems have improved slightly, but we are still 2months behind in mortgage payments and 2 months behind on our personal vehicle payments. All of our financial problems started when WH decided to step out of the marriage, although he does not see it that way. He has been so different work ethnic wise its unbelievable. He is not the same person. So what happens to me and my family now? I guess I am here because if I dont write what I am feeling I will just explode at him and that wont help the situation any. Although right now I feel as though I have the right to be going ballistic on him. See everything is in my name, it is my once prestine credit that is totally ruined. Where does that leave me and my kids. I know now the end of this M is near. How am I going to rebuild from all of this? I need to go now, must do something to take my mind off these thoughts. I am very dark right now.

L

Might be time for Plan B. This has been going on too long. In Plan B you will feel better and stronger, and be able to think more clearly.

Believer,

I have known for a long time it has been time for Plan B. But how do I do this with our current financial situation. We cant get caught up living together and both of us working, how are we going to do it living apart?? I will surely then lose everything?

Lisa,

I agree, go to Plan B. And please get a lawyer to separate your husband from anything having to do with your finances.... the lawyer might even have a way to help you protect your credit from further damage.

Your H needs to hit the bottom and you need to find peace for yourself and your children and preserve whatever is left of your love for your husband.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. It is all so very hard. But you will survive. Please believe that.

Snow

You sound hopeless and powerless.

I think talking with a lawyer is a very good first step. You can set up a separation of finances that will protect you.

Gain your power back. You are not weak!!! You are stronger than you think and you can do this.

I can't help but think that if you had started Plan B 6 months ago where you would be now...?

Thanks for the responses. I know everyone here tells me to Plan B. Here is my current situation. After the business truck got repoed-I was forced to file chapt. 13 bankruptcy to get the truck back. That is our livelihood. Didnt really have any other choice. As fas as our finances basically they are seperated-nothing is in WH name. I am the only one who filed chapt. 13. So basically when WH and I decided to do this he told me he was going to concentrate on nothing but our business so we can make this chapt 13 plan work and save our home and vehicles. I feel as though I have sold my soul. I really thought he would have a little more compassion for me with everything going on. But not basically we live in a house together and hardly talk. He still is doing the same thing, thought he would try to change for the sake of the family and trying to save everything, but he hasnt and told me he has no intentions of doing so. In the same respect he constantly telling me to change or we are going to lose everything. I feel as though my life has changed forever already and I am trying to do what I have to for my kids. We had a big fight on Wednesday because these OWoman call my house in the afternoon to talk to him when I am at work. Basically after fighting about everything that has happened the past couple of weeks, he told me it was "too late to fix anything and to get it through my thick skull!" He also said he did not feel as though he has been cruel to me this past year at all. Even after all this time his words still cut me like a knife. I cant be around him any more but we cant afford to live seperate the bill are too high. I am trying to act as if he isnt here to keep my sanity. I know what you all are going to say..Plan B. But maybe you can offer some other advice on how to get through this until this Chapt 13 plan is confirmed in June. Then I guess I can seel my house and take my kids and go.

Thanks as always


Lisa

what kind of work do you do...and what happens to the kids? I am guessing some are his previously...but after 6 1/2 years they pretty much see this as their family I imagine. In the interim, plan b or not...stop all relationship talks or efforts (avoid all conflict), concentrate solely on getting your finances in order, and a support system (family, friends etc. if you need help).

sufdb,

Yes we are blended-the oldest is mine from a previous marriage the next 2 are his from a previous relationship and the 2 youngest are ours together. We have a mobile catering business and I also work outside the home-had to start because of finances. I know there cant be any R talk but I am such an emotional person and with the way he is right not so cold and uncaring and feelings whatsoever, I am dying inside


Lisa

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BUMP}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

sometimes life is just plain pits lisa, just hang in there, and come here for support....hopefully reducing the tension (by not having re. talks) will make the day to day go better....if need be, plan B/seperation might be the only solution...try to prepare for it though...and heck, there can be some money in truck catering, you sure he is doing a good job? Good locations, honest with (you) the money....learn the business, maybe you will have to do it (and kids can help with that kind of stuff)...you got options lisa, this stuff is tough on the emotional types, but you will get through it....just don't let your emotions start a war...ya know? If it is going to end, let it go peacefully as possible, with all the kids, and financial stuff, you need to get along.