I just got an email from my BS. Yes, I am the WS and I have failed her and my marriage. She told me that the guest says there is no hope for us. Once is a mistake, twice trouble, but after that forget it. Now some of you who have read me before know the story. But, my FW reads and posts here.
So I'm curious, what about MB? Do we agree that everyone who continues in a relationship is in denial? I personally don't think so, but then I am the WS so I'm sure I am biased.

It doesn't really matter what any of us think. What matters is what your wife needs in order to feel reassured that this won't happen again. Your having found Jesus doesn't make her feel safe- unfortunately, people have been known to have affairs after finding Jesus. Your protestations of wanting to work things out don't make her feel safe-those are words and anyone can come up with the right words.

So she is in a bind. Yes, if someone could wave the magic wand and guarantee that you would never stray again, she'd be willing to work on your marriage. But since no one can do that, she is left trying to decide how much of an idiot she'd feel like if you ever stray again, and if it's worth taking the risk.

At this point, I don't think there is anything you can do to make her stay with you. You can continue to work on yourself so that you wil know why you behaved this way in the past and what would keep you from doing so in the future. You can let her know you still want to work on your marriage. But after that it is her decision.

As somebody once said, if you didn't want to end your marriage, you shouldn't have taken marriage-ending actions.

We all made mistake at one point or another ... however it is not about the mistake but it is about what are you going to do about it ?.

Read HNHN and SAA ... read postings here and also look for true’s heart letter to ws . You will understand.

-rh-

<small>[ February 17, 2004, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>