<small>[ February 22, 2004, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: hblaneinSF ]</small>

Dear HB,

Welcome to MB. Sorry you bring such pain with you. Have you read the concept section above? Also the books Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs are both by Dr Harley and are good to help the BS get back on her feet.

If your H is spewing the standard WS babble, then another good book is 'Love must be Tough' by Dr James Dobson. This one teaches the BS how to handle the fog.

Your H is blaming you. Ask him, then why did he pick that OW? Certainly that is not the one you would have picked. Eventually you have to learn to babble like that in order to communicate. It is like they forgot how to reason and just babble stupid things. Even our children have more common sense than the WS in the fog.

So it is critical that you learn how to use the tools here in order to get the most benefit. It isn't easy. But it is doable.

Read and let us know how you are doing. Are you in the bay area? There are a few of us in northern CA.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

take care,
L.