Well all. I know that most of you know that I am in Plan B. Tonight H and I had an appointment with a guy to get dental insurance, which we desperately need. With this plan (federal employees) H had to be here.

H showed up about an hour early, just as I was finishing dinner. So I asked if he wanted a plate. He did and gobbled it down. Then he said how much he misses my cooking.

Next he said that we have to get back together, that we need to stay together. I told him that OW has to be gone. He said she had been gone (she was gone 11 times, but only for one day).

So the final thing he said is that he is giving me until the end of April to take him back.

I know the reason he is giving me until the end of April. He wants to take OW to the Laughlin River Run (motorcycle run).

I do have papers with the lawyer to file for D or separation. I just need to pay the last installment. I'm barely hanging on to marriage, although I have mostly happy days.

The lack of SF for over a year is getting to me. I am living like a nun. So I am back to thinking about the big D again. I may pull out the big guns and blast this guy.

Believer...

Be the lighthouse baby!!! He's fogged and he's gotta come in to shore at some point.

More fogspeak... kinda like I'll give you until April... forget the fact it's his decision huh? Let's shift it back to you. Which my WS is so good at, I think he should write a manual. It's always about me and this is my decision. I mean all he has to do is give up his g/f why is that such a big accomplishment for these WS's. I just don't see the logic behind any of it.... IMHO it's such a no brainer....

Good luck and I'm praying for you...

Remember no matter how it turns out.... you are a better and stronger person because of it!!!

Believer -

Have you read "Torn Asunder?" I am reading it right now. I am already over 1/4 of the way through. If you have, what type of affair do you think he is having? What do you think his issues are? I haven't finished the book, but it has such great information. I think my WH is a combination of some of the hardest to recover from. Figures!

Oh well, food for thought, and I am curious.

Love, Amy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> ....So the final thing he said is that he is giving me until the end of April to take him back.

I know the reason he is giving me until the end of April. He wants to take OW to the Laughlin River Run (motorcycle run).

I do have papers with the lawyer to file for D or separation. I just need to pay the last installment. I'm barely hanging on to marriage, although I have mostly happy days.

The lack of SF for over a year is getting to me. I am living like a nun. So I am back to thinking about the big D again. I may pull out the big guns and blast this guy. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He is giving YOU until the end of April to TAKE HIM BACK? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> YIKES. Talk about fog babble.

Honey, you must throw this back in his face. Don't matter what his 'plans' are ....... you go by YOUR timetable. If he isn't back according to your plan, you do what you need to do. ok?

Arrrgh....I hate babbling WS. Does he think he is doing YOU a favor? Do you really want him back in that state of mind?

IMHO, I'd say. April??? Why so soon? I was just getting used to you being away. At least I don't have to worry about an OW showing up at my doorstep 1/2 nekked. LOL!!!!

L.

<small>[ February 18, 2004, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Yeah heavenlee, it is hard to believe that WS's don't get it. But I think they do. They would prefer to continue their cake-eatting.

I am back to Plan B again. I am tired of this. I am hanging in with the MB program (just to honor my vows), but I am almost done.

Believer...

I was just forced into plan B, I think maybe... I guess I need help writing a NC letter. What should it say?

This is crazy... now he's instant messaging me with all kinds of LBing. Lord help us. Lots of love and strong wishes believer.... you are in my thoughts and prayers tonite.

Amy - Yes, I read it and H has too. He is the double life man.

Heavenlee - No, not time for Plan B yet. What happened?

Orchid - Don't know what to do. That durn ole nekkid woman keeps on a showin up in his bed. What's a man to do? I wonder if this happens to the other men here, or is it just my H?

Dear Believer,

I know you know what to do. As for 1/2 nekked OWs running around, isn't there some sort of anti-nudity laws in your town? Some guy was up the bay a couple of years back nekked in his truck (waist down) and he was arrested. LOL!!! Maybe you can call the police and tell them a nekked lady is running around that neighborhood. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

LIsten hon, the funny thing is that this OW clothed or not is not doing a good job of holding onto the WS. I remember when I tried to get rid of the WS, he kept trying to come back. One of those times he had moved some of his clothes to her home (I have it on tape) and a few days later he is calling me on the phone begging me to let him come home.....OW in the background telling me to take him back. Imagine that?!?!?? I told him to stay, he adamantly said NO WAY. I said, what? He again repeated himself. It was funny to see me trying hard to keep him there and him fighting tooth and nail to leave. I thought, geeze, I should have done this earlier. LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

L.

LOL I am sorry but Orchid that is a hoot!!! I think that tape should be kept forever. How funny.

orchid-

That is too funny! Your H sounds worse than mine. At least mine, when he gets in his "reconciling mood" does it behind the OW's back.

heavenlee -

Of course WS's know what they have to do (get rid of OW). They just don't want to. They feel entitled to a harem.

Believer, do what is best for yourself.

Blast him if you have to! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take care

Wait a minute, believer. You need to tell him that you will take him back when he ends his affair. When he demonstrably ends it and sends her a no contact letter. He has told you several times before that he has ended it and hasn't. If he has ended it, ask him to prove it to you. Ask him to send a letter that is mutually written. Put the ball back in his court. And point out that you might not be willing to wait until April.

I guess maybe when it comes to understanding foghorns I just fog over.... I don't get it at all. I was reading some of the funny things WS say when in the fog... it's truly incredible.

Believer Stick to you plan and remember you are a strong and capable person. Take care of yourself.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong>

I know the reason he is giving me until the end of April. He wants to take OW to the Laughlin River Run (motorcycle run).

. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tell him this.

Melody -

I guess I don't care about him enough to tell him I know. It would be useless anyway. He would just deny it and then I would find out they went.

Just like the Valentine's Day Sweetheart run. We have gone together for the last 15 years. He told me he didn't have the money to go. Then I found out that he took $140. out of his account that day. Then when he came over to talk about the insurance, he slipped and said "we went and weren't going to stay, but it ended up being fun."

I have just gone through too much. That is the beauty of Plan B. I think what usually happens is that couples get back together, or the BS just moves on.

I am happy now most days, I rely on this board a lot, but really HAVE moved on. OW and I are fighting over a prize that I don't really want anymore.

That is something all WS should fear... believer. I think you are right about plan B, too. ATTN all WS..... one day you might have someone who sees the true you and loves you anyway... you might see what true love is if you would just come out of the fog... you might see how enriched and wonderful you life would be if you would just open your hearts...

Believer stay true to yourself... in you lies all the answers... open your heart and God will give you the signs. Good Luck and I hope you get what your heart desires!!!

heavenlee -

Well there are always miracles. But I think we are done. And I am sad for all that was lost, but not sad for me.

Well... it is definitely his loss believer. What a fool.... live your life dear and cherish all that God has to offer you. If he never sees the beauty and love you have to offer, then he certainly isn't worthy of it.... find someone who is.... and just think how great of a R you will have... now that you know what you know.!!!!

Good Luck Believer....