OK, I have been thinking about D. My friend says not to make the decision easy for WH, make him D me. He is just being so disrespectful!

He still goes to Scouts with her, and takes my boys with him - which cannot be healthy for my boys. He has her living room furniture in his apartment - PUKE!

And he still contacts her with phone and email.

He does go to MT, but all he does is bash me and say how it can never work. He even told the MT the other day the only reason he was there was because it is in his nature to always give someone "one more chance." ???

Who is giving who another chance? I'm not angry, I am just saying . . . I know, fogese.

He is so far gone. I cannot imagine him being able to find his way out any time soon.

I don't know. What do you think?

Amy

amy -

No divorce for you yet. You need to stick with the program here. Then you will have the satisfaction of giving it your all.

You must give your H more time to come out of the fog. If you can't do it for you, do it for your kids.

I am seriously considering divorce, and have been for about a month. But, here is the difference. Our kids are out of the house now. It is just my H and I. I have a good job, paid for place to live (3 blocks to the ocean). I have a good retirement and have started a property management business.

I'm very happy and satisfied with my life, except in the marriage area. The reasons I am thinking about divorce are two: I have been by myself for almost a year now, no SF, dinners out with a man, companionship. My H has been enjoying trips, evenings out, just fun, fun, fun. He is giving me no money and hasn't for a year. The only way I will get anything from him is to divorce him.

So you see divorce looks good to me. H and I have no real relationship. I'm at the point to call it quits and find someone else. But I will get D before I start looking.

You, however have many years of family life and enjoying your boys together. Hang in there. You just have to give it more time. Most H's come back to the marriage, and you can have a better marriage than ever. So give it all you have got. Show him the way back.

I know. I know. I know. He is just being so disrespectful! I know, I know, I know.

You are right. My boys, my boys, my boys.

OK, I'm back on the path. If I post here again, talk me back again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> He is just being so disrespectful!

Amy

OK, one last thing. If he starts saying he want a D again, I am not going to cry or argue or anything. I will calmly say, OK, whatever you want.

Is that permissable at this point?

Amy

amy - I would tell him that you have no control over what he does, and that YOU plan to have a great life.

Oh, that does sound good. I don't want it to be an LB, but I don't want to chase after him any more.

Does that make sense? So, that says it all in a nutshell. I'm going to write it down.

Good thing it is short, so I can remember it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Amy

Hi there AMY!

Hey you wanted my weird opinions.. here it goes. You are in the heat of the moment right now. Everything is mixed together. You are in no condition to start a D battle. I know the battle feild sounds so good.. a way to milk him.. make him HURT like you are hurting. WOuld feel good wouldn't it? Then after the battle is over.. I don't want you to say.. "maybe I should have done it another way."

That is why I didn't pack up and leave. I don't want to regret. I have no children holding me back, I have nothing holding me where I am except for him. I have a home to go to... and I can get by myself. I have been doing good on my own for a long time. I chose to stay and work it out because I don't want to have any "what if's" And if it does.. I think we both will be better for it.. and if it doesn't.. oh well that is life.. wasn't meant to be.

I say.. don't think about Divorce now.. or any procedures of divorce. Just go with the plan.. then when you are prepared.. you might not even get to D.. but keep it just in the back of your mind.

anyways kisses mama.. I'm heading to bed.