Mortarman I chose to ask you because my WH is a former Marine. I was wondering what my odds are the WH will come home eventually in Plan A with no LBs as a former Marine. Difference from being a civilian is they can adapt to anything, any type of living. I feel like WH could live in the jungle and not care. Does this lower my odds because of military training? He is deep in fog right now. Totally moved out and with OW as much as possible. He comes on W and Sat. to get S and that is it. He already came back for 6 weeks and had too strong feelings for the OW and was here for the wrong reasons, being the house and the boy. I just feel like his Marine training has made him be able to be a cold person and resist anything, kind of like water rolling off a ducks back type of thing. Am I wrong? Thanks.

First off, thi is one Marine I would like to have a talk to, if you know what I mean!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> In a profession based on honor, he is showing none.

Now, your question. No, it doesnt make it harder. Sure, we grunts can live in anything and eat anything. But that doesnt change how we feel on the inside. Actually, his training actually helps you. Why?

Well, first off...what I said above. He knows he is doing a dishonorable thing. And that cant play well inside of him. Second, once he does come out of the fog, he will be much better equipped to deal with things like withdrawal and doing the right thing...even in emotional pain. So, count his military training as an asset on your side.

Have you informed his commander yet? Adultery is a serious charge. His commander can order him not to see or talk to the OW. Since this is out, and he is living with her...time to expose this. It wont hurt things in the long run, although you will have one POed Marine on your hands for a little while. Call his commander and set up an appointment. Tell him you dont want him punished, at least not yet. You are just seeking his help in getting your husband to pull his outer brain casing out of his waste disposal unit.

Next. do the Harley principles. Stay in Plan A. Show him your best. Soon, you will probably go to Plan B. Then that grunt will wake up in his "foxhole" that he has dug. And then we will see what he is made of.

Make the call.

In His arms.

Mortarman

He is a former marine. WH was discharged years ago. Since 1994. I did use the whole marine thing on WH when I first found out. We always used to say Semper Fi to each other <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> , but obviously it didn't matter to him. He dishonored me anyway and his son. Thanks for help with the marine training thing. I thought maybe it would work against me. For some reason he falls very hard when he falls. I think it is going to be the full 2 years for me, by then I will probably have to sell my house and the whole nine yards. I wish the fog would clear sooner. I had one of his marine buddies talk to him before he moved out and he lied to him and said he needed to go live a his brother house to clear his head. He told me he was moving because he had feelings for her and didn't for me anymore. He even did everything that he could to hurt my feelings before he left. He said very mean things to me. He said OW was a good person and a great mother. Like I am not? Hmmmm. I have waited for 7 years for him to get on day shift and now he is almost there he goes and has an A. Now he has left his 3 YO S and his wife and house and stepdaughter for OW. I am plan Aing as best as I can. Doesn't seem to be bothering him though, he almost seems like he enjoys plan A better than anything.

Oh, he does like Plan A. Two women thinking he is great. A definite power trip.

But remember, Plan A is followed by Plan B. Plan A is setting him up. Wait until he cant have his cake anymore. And especially wait until he thinks he can never have his cake again, and that you are moving on. And possibly giving "his" cake to someone new.

That will wipe that grin right off his face. You stay strong.

In His arms.

Thanks for words and encouragement Mortarman. I will keep your advice at the top of my brain on Wed. when he comes.