If anyone has followed our M, it sure has been a heck of a ride. Ups and downs like crazy.. Normal I know.. He just after 4 days of cold and withdrawn has started to come back... He was angry with me for what I shared in MC. But, I still feel his distance, like he is not really "here"

H and I were headed for D. I had filed and all. When we decided to try and work things out, we (I) just put the D on hold. My attorney just called, and the hold is up in April. I have to decide to drop it completely or continue. Obviously I will drop it.

I am scared, really, really scared. My H is still doing the work, but I also know we have gone through these cycles before and soon as he feels secure. He stops the work. I am so scared! He sometimes (like just last week) doesn't seem commited. I ask will we make it (he says I hope so) I ask him if he is committed? His answer was he feels like he should be comitted..

It took everything in me to separate, and everything left in me to file. I think he knows this, I am so afraid of everything right now..

<small>[ February 25, 2004, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: sohard ]</small>

I posted this right after I got off the phone with my attrn.

I realize now I have nothing to fear. I am stronger than I ever imagined, and I with the help of God can get through anything that comes my way.

I am going to look forward to a brighter furture with H and trust that we both will continue to work hard on our M. Forget the fear, who needs that, and who can even move forward with that.

SoHard -

I'm on the roller coaster with you. Stay strong. I'll pray for you.