I have been walking around on eggshells the last couple of days.. Boy do I hate that.. Feels like old times..

Here is the thing... H went alone to IC last night. IC suggestion for h to work on some anger issues.. I realize I am pacing at home, almost sick to my stomach nervous, wondering "how angry" H will come home this time. Seems lots of times he leaves MC more angry than when he went.

So, he comes in and he is "not angry".. He was nice and cordial. Later, he reaches over and hugs me. I ask if he wants to talk. He shruggs his shoulders. I asked how it went? He says o.k., it was pretty much just a prayer session to deal with a lot of my feelings... Then he stopped talking, so I let it go..

Do I ask about those feelings? How can I help him if he doesn't open up? Should I just let it go? Is this a time I should respect his privacy and not even ask? Don't we need to communicate these things in order to move forward in our M?

Yeah you do need to communicate, but only when he is ready. Go clean the house, or organize some drawers to keep yourself occupied. Let him come to you.

I 100% concur with Believer. Having him hug you and shrug, instead of shutting you out, is HUGE!

You let him know you are interested in hearing his feelings, you let him know you are available, and even if he cannot communicate it to you, I am sure that on the inside that was extremely comforting for him.

The other comforting thing for him will be if you continue to be kind to him (not shut him out because you feel he is shutting you out, you know?), and not push him. Continue to communicate to him with your body language and what you DON'T say, to let him know you are always available and interested in listening to him.

It might take him more sessions to want to tell you these things. But you know the saying, "The greatest things in life are worth the wait."

Lots of love and hugs and support! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Amy

I hate to admit but early IC for me tended to result in me being in a bad mood when I got home.

We guys as a rule don't like to deal with emotional issues in depth like IC forces you to.

Him coming home in a neutral mood when he normally comes home in a bad one is a very good sign.

Thanks guys.. I have classes all day today so that will keep me busy...

Thanks for reminding me that the hug was a great step, because it was and sometimes in my haste to want him to open up, I miss those clues..

and the fact that he was in a neutural mood..

Thanks for pointing out the progress I didn't see!

sohard

Remember its a process its not an event. Sometimes you don't realize how far you have come until you look at how far down you were.

Neutral is good..good. (best cyber Bruce Almighty imitation <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )