We went last night for the second session of MC.
A little background. DH is a 9/11 injured survivor, and he has been in therapy for PTSD and depression, but I decided early on that I was fine and didn't need and help <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> - boy was I ever wrong.
2+ years later he is still working on issues that now include my emotional neglect during his depression, and I have learned that I did everything wrong when dealing with a trauma survivor.
While these things do not excuse his affair, we are both hurting BIG TIME about a multitude of issues, and I have finally had a smack upside my head about the things I have not dealt with regarding that day and the following months, years concerning my own mental health.
OK - We went to a MC and laid this stuff all out. The first session he (MC) talked about ending the affair and committing to repairing our relationship - hey 40 minutes - how much of a read can we get. So we go into session 2 last night and he asks about the affair ending and DH says he did it with a NC letter, showed it to me and the response too, and has told me about the one time she made contact since. I am hopeful he is being honest, but the MC kept pushing him are you sure you did this...over and over. Then when we brought up my panic attacks (I have had alot of bad nights - surprised?) the MC suggested I find a girlfriend to talk to and stop trying to get my husband to talk at night. - seems like a weird suggestion to me, I thought he might offer additional individule sessions for me or suggest some coping strategies.
The when I brought up my 9/11 issues and how they compounded his emotional neglect feelings I was told that I was not really affected!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
So I am thinking I need to find another MC.
How may times do you switch before finding the right fit? I did alot of pre-interviewing on the phone, and this guy is a Venus and Mars Communication Therapist (John Grey) and specializes in marriage in crisis. Thought I figured it out!
I am VERY frustrated and confused.
Any ideas?
