I posted a question way back in April 2003 about the effects of Paxil on a person. This was shortly after D-Day. Most people who responded seem to have feel that Paxil had helped them. Basically my question and concern about the drug was how I felt that my WH had totally changed after about 3-6 months of treatment. I even talked to him about it way back then but he felt it was also helping him. I have and always will feel that Paxil has contributed to our situation. We are still living together and WH is involved with 3 different women on various levels. Our life has been falling apart for over 15 months. Basically my WH says he is numb and can not function the way he used to. Well yesterday while we were talking about business he came out of the blue and said "I now know that all our problems and mostly mine started when I started the Paxil. It has totally changed my outlook on life and the way I think and the way I handle things." he also said "It has made me totally numb and his wishes he could feel something." He has been off of it for about a month because we dont have health ins. anymore and cant afford it, but then again he is feeling the effects of that also. He said its a no win situation. I suggested maybe he should talk to the DR. about another drug because yesterday he said he has never been this low or depressed before. (there is mental illness in his immed. family)

I also have done some research on Broderline Personality Disorder and WH fits some of the criteria. I told him I had info if he wanted to read to ask me, I was not going to force it upon him. I know this does not in anyway excuse what has been going on for the past 15 months but I guess since I still love and care for him and want my M, I am just trying to understand this person my WH has become. If anyone has any thought or views or experience with this please respond.

Thanks Lisa

I'm taking Paxil and have had no strange affects. I think that his A's are having more to do with your marriage problems, than the anti-D.

Lisa hi , I am very sorry to here that alol this is still going on belive me when I say that and I really don't want to be mean and slame you at all so please take this 2x4 with love and respect ..


GET OUT OF THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK that felt better , you always said your family is supportive well move in with them . pack and get out . Forget the busness if you have to he , needs help and you are going to need some to if you don't already .

I belive you are very strong and I am not calling you a door mat but honey this man IS NOT THE PERON YOU MARRIED .

And I kow that gut reanching feeling to stand by hi as he crumbling but he is not seeing it like that he is abusing the privalige to have you by his side , he makes no effort at all and he is cruel by way of actions and just down and out right disrespectful .

#3 ow comes in and your still around , come on girl don't be any # other then the one you are worthy of #1 .

He is a man and needs to be one HE has to find his MAN HOOD on his own now or live in the gutter that he is makeing for himself .

Why hasn't he settled with any of these women ??

Because they are not there to take care of him . YOU ARE !!!! Do you think he don't see that they are not the ones that give him security the ones who will bust there [censored] to save anything for him ?

You own all of it its in your name well then recruit family to work to get business on its feet , kick him to the curb . Now what is he going to do for shelter, food , money ????????

I am sorry this PAXIL excuse is just that EXCUSE MAJOR!

Please take your self out of this very huge triangle!

I hear you and all the surronding things money, house ect. but you know what those things can be replaced YOU YOUR health thats the most important and YOUR children being in something stable .

I am glad you can back to MB , I know sometimes when all you hear is everyone saying PLAN B PLAN B you get alittle scared off , YOU know I am not one to preach PLAN B and I belive in sticking in it and saving it BUT there is NO way your going to tell me your not feeling the side affects .

PLEASE let all out hear , but really listen to what your saying pull up your posts from the past and read them , pretend this is some one else then tell me you don't know what to do .

3,

So good to hear from you, I think of you often. Hope all is well with you. I hear everything you are saying. I just feel so bound right now because of the bankruptcy. Our business vehicle got Repoed..thats why I had to file Chapt 13-to get it back. Now I must go through with this until confirmation in June, so I dont lose the house and everything. I have a lot of work to do with regards to this. I cant move in with my parents because they are in a condo. Anyway I feel as though he should leave. Health wise I am exhausted but have slowly started eating again. Even put on a few pounds-was starting to feel quite sick because I lost over 50lbs. Really dont have much dignity or self-respect left but am trying to detach totally from him.

Basically right now I only talk to him when I have to. I am working hard right now for my kids. You are right he needs so much help. He still stands by it has nothing to do with the OWomen, it has to do with him. He is convinced I would be better off with out him. But at the same time he has begun to blame me for alot of things. Some things which I agree with and have acknowledged to him. But at the same time I feel as though he accepts no responsible to our current situation. He feels "we just dont work" whats that suppose to mean? I have been trying not to LB at all..why I am really not sure..I guess because I still want my marriage. Anyway I have a question whether or not something would be considered a LB, but really dont even know if anyone will respond because at this point what does it matter. But if anyone will I will pose my question.

Thanks

Lisa

Lisa -
What are we going to do with you? You have been going through this for much too long. Have you read about the 180's? That is what I suggest. Then move on (as much as you can) with your own life.

H may or may not get straightened out. But you need to take care of you and the children. Keep posting, we will get you through this.

I am doing good thanks for thinking of me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ,
I understand those feelings of hopeless , fear, and just hanging on to sanity by a string I really do .

Ok so you don't leave , if house is in your name change the locks . You say you only talk if you have to but thats not true , you just had a talk about the paxil ,,, don't do that none of it .

Where is he sleeping ?? I hope on the floor some where .

It may not have anything to do with the other women , its not there fault he is an A$$ LOL !

Yes HE has problems he is a child , maybe he does have a mental illness , but then he needs real help and only he can get it .

Listen him going in to the $hiter is not your fault its his . HE is an adult , you need to set bounderies ,,, real ones ,,, things that are within your limits please think about them . Don't make ones that you know you will give in on.

IF you say it stick to it , if you say to himn he needs to leave by a certain date then do it .
If you through him out and say he can come in x amount of hours for work related reasons stick to it ...

Have you exsposed this A to everyone possiable , have you confronted all OW involved ???
Are you in a counsouling ? anything ? even some sort of support group (free) I know insurance isn't there but research something else . A church group anything .

YOU need to do something or this will not end . don't you want it to . ?? and if you want your marriage this is not going to help it , recovery brings all this back for you down the raod, there are alot of angree , hurt feelings that you are holding on to and they will creep up on you if the 2 of you should make it back to one another.

I will be around please keep posting even to vent , cry , anything ,,,, do not worry if you get alot of responses keep posting .

Got to go kids are wild and HUSBAND is out at a card game with guys from work ,, YEP he even goes out with out a leash LOL Talk about life being weird ---NORMAL is weird LOL wait so long to get here and now its strang LOL

well see ya get some sleep PS the weight lose 52lbs was the best that came out of the A LOL

But I gained back 15 living NORMAL LOL

BUMP!