Well, if I ever didn't believe it before, I surely believe it now - my husband really DOESN'T love me.

He knew I had the breast ultrasound yesterday afternoon (after being told I had a spiculated mass and calcifications on my mammogram)and told me to give him a call if I wanted to let him know how it went.

As soon as I left the radiologist yesterday afternoon, I called him on his cell phone and he didn't answer. I know he was at work but he keeps his cell phone on and would see that I attempted to call. I did not leave a voicemail, but should I have to?? I guess I shouldn't be shocked that he didn't call to see what was up with the test. I would've been right there beside him through anything he was facing.

He did leave a voicemail on my cell phone early yesterday afternoon telling me he received a letter in the mail that looked important because it was from "Evaluations" and was marked personal and confidential on the envelope. He said he went to my apartment because he was going out that way to WalMart and left it in the apartment.

That was it. If I was ever not entirely sure before that he didn't love me, I sure know now. It is so hard to go through all of this alone. I just want my precious husband back.

I agree with Jazzeygirl. Even though what he did, or didn't do, was very inconsiderate, don't take it as positive proof of his lack of feelings for you.

First, he's in a fog--that really messes him up. Second, I have a WH who, even when he was just a H, didn't always understand when I had health issues that could be serious. I think sometimes they distance themselves becaues they are afraid and don't want to show it, too.

A lot of men aren't good with the "feelings" thing. If they can't fix the problem, they don't know how to react, and they will avoid it sometimes. Just a thought.

LL

Thanks ladies for the replies. I am sorry to hear that you were once in the same boat that I am now in.

He has told me that he didn't love me anymore, but I guess I was in denial that we was just saying that because of the affair.

He told me the day before the testing that when I told his family a couple of weeks ago of his affair (although it is over), I lost all of my "rights" to call him crying to talk about what was going on medically. That really hurt.

Anyway, I do have one girlfriend who said she would take me anywhere if I needed an escort for any of the tests, but my husband told me the day before the tests of some confidential things I told her that she went and told him (they work together and he is her supervisor). I told her that I was thinking of going to an attorney, asking her to check his vacation schedule at work and that I have his cell phone records. I can't believe she double crossed me like that.

I haven't confronted her about it. I may not. My husband asked me to please not get her in the middle of us because they work together. She is the only close girlfriend I have. I wonder if she is doing this because she has been seeing a married man herself for the last 4 years. That trust is broken.

I appreciate all of you taking the time to respond!

Time to find some more friends. Start going out and doing some fun things, even if you don't feel like it. I let my neighbors, people at work, everyone know that I was ready to go have some fun.

Hang in there. My H was completely gone for 4 months until he started coming back around and taking an interest in me. By then I had a life again.

Don't take in personally. I know it is hard not to, but he is just following the WS script. He'll be back.

"He'll be back".


If you only knew how much I want to believe that. The thing is, I know he won't.

He's my heart and soul - even after all he's done. If I could find the heart to forgive him, prove my love is endless, how could he not want me??? I am pretty, skinny, great job, good money, want his babies more than anything, have an eye for decorating, am current on world issues, love animals, faithful, loyal and above all else - his wife. I waited so long for him to ask me to marry him - 8 years. When he finally does, it takes less than 3 short years for him to cheat on me.

I am at the end of my rope. His coldness is doing more harm than I could ever imagine. It sounds like Plan B time. I think I will start a separate thread for that one...........

And look at that whole list of wonderful qualities you have!

Please remember it's not about you, it's about him. Don't take this as a rejection of you, don't take this personally. You are a wonderful person. He's the one with the problem, although I'm sure he has a lot of good traits as well.

I'm pretty new here myself, but the one thing I'm really beginning to understand is that it's not really me he's rejecting at all. I'm worth something. Eleanor Roosevelt once said something to the effect that no one else can make you feel bad about yourself. Don't accept it!

Most of them do come back. Have you done a good Plan A? It is critical to follow the MB program. Well I didn't do a good job - but you can!

Please don't take it so personally. After reading here awhile you will see that they all act the same, and say the same things. They are practically interchangeable.

Yes, he does have some amazing qualities. He is smart, educated, handsome, sexy, confidant and he's MY husband.

They sure do say a lot of the same things, huh? I've read just about everything he's ever said here on this website from other people since he told me he wanted a divorce and the affair was revealed to me from the OW'f fiance.

I do not think he would ever, ever come back even if he wanted to because he hates my family (brother and Dad) for them badmouthing him since his affair. Also, him coming back would be the admittance of him making a mistake kicking me out and he would never admit to anything like that.

I am going into Plan B.

Yes, he does have some amazing qualities. He is smart, educated, handsome, sexy, confidant and he's MY husband.

They sure do say a lot of the same things, huh? I've read just about everything he's ever said here on this website from other people since he told me he wanted a divorce and the affair was revealed to me from the OW'f fiance.

I do not think he would ever, ever come back even if he wanted to because he hates my family (brother and Dad) for them badmouthing him since his affair. Also, him coming back would be the admittance of him making a mistake kicking me out and he would never admit to anything like that.

I am going into Plan B.


By the way, I think I was doing an awesome Plan A and I just wasn't getting any response from him at all.

Icouldnotaskformore. Let me tell you if you believe in the power of pray...to pray, pray, pray! When I was 18 my dad left my mother. He wasn't going to tell her that he was involved with someone else. She found some letters in his truck. When she confronted him about it, he told her that he hadn't loved her for a long time. that he was waiting for me (the youngest) to graduate from high school. He actually divorced my mom and married this OW. they divorced a year later and he and my mom reconciled. They recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. If there was ever love there before between you and your H..it's still there, you have to believe that! The fog that an A leaves you in is devastating!!! You pray for God's will to be done and let him comfort you. You are not a fault, you have to believe that. It sounds like he is risking a life with a wonderful woman who loves him unconditonally!

Thanks for all of the kind words.

I have been in Plan A since August 2003. I didn't know of his affair since 10-20-2003, stepping up my Plan A before I even knew what Plan A was.

I have been praying and praying like I never have before. It doesn't seem to be getting through to the right angel!!

Thanks for all of the kind words.

I have been in Plan A since August 2003. I didn't know of his affair since 10-20-2003, stepping up my Plan A before I even knew what Plan A was.

I have been praying and praying like I never have before. It doesn't seem to be getting through to the right angel!!

your prayers are being heard. So your husband's being a little stubborn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> hang in there!!!