Geez, in keeping with my sceen name, I can't work out how an EA works as opposed to a PA. I read some back posts - but a lot of the comments didn't really cover one or the other properly IMO. Surely some PA's must have an emotional component and some emotional affairs must have a phsyical componet?
Also, what's the fog? My husband said some very strange things for him - a very practical perceptive mature man comes out with....It was nothing to do with our life..... and..... I was only going to see her when you weren't around. Also ........ he felt sorry for her......and..... it was like an adventure.... and ....he just wanted to have some fun. Yikes.... so many comments that he can't have possibly have believed I would have felt sympthetic with. Only someone mentally impared would speak such nonesense. Is love a fog or infatuation a fog? Do WS's lose their ability to reason when they get involved with OP? Also, when WH says he "can't remember" is that true? Men are not as good at remembering as women, but surely such extraordinary excitment is engraved on his memory? My H said he didn't love her - but........ what would make him take such risks to be with her? He stood to lose everything - but told himself it would be too shocking for me to find out, therefore I wouldn't find out. Talk about insanity.
Very quickly. 16 months into recovery. Doing pretty badly. Had been together 36 yrs. Married 301/2 yrs@ d.d . Love of my life. Very young when met, but exceptional guy. So kind, gentle and sweet. Everyone: loves him. Aged 50 when A occured. We: Live in Asia. She: Young Asian *maid*, targetted him for money. Very pretty and used nubile charms to ensare him into a relationship. He: captivated by her - also lonely and MBA (married but available, as they say here). I: was in home country much of the time caring for dying mother and problematic offspring. Plus was tired o f living many years o/s. Just wanted quiet life with home and garden. She 26 me 49. I: was blown to pieces when I discovered photo's of them together in the sent messages of our email, he'd forgotten to delete. H was the BEST father to our son and daughter. Daughter one year younger than OW. OW: claimed she was a virgin, but H still kept trying to have sexual interaction with her. She: one day off work per fortnight - rest of time working for employer (day and nite) - almost a slave. OW (maid) asks H for large sum of money and but still he keeps seeing her. He became obsessed to get his hands on her youthful body. Maid: was very confident and pushy and H weak to her physical attributes. H was insulted when asked for money coz he thought she was attracted to him (H looks 55, balding). She also said she'd go out with our son aged 24 (visits here) if he didn't want her.
H claims he wanted out of mess but much evidence to the contrary. H had started to become irriatated with me. I sensed we were growing apart. . Me? Men always attracted to me. I'm slim and attractive and very fit. Have had many opportunities to cheat but specifically turned down an A 4 yrs ago, in Asia, when H not around but thought of my husbands lovely face (not handsome but trusting) and knew I couldn't look him in the eyes and know I had betrayed him. What could be worth that? I could never risk hurting a man I felt had made my life so happy. So how did he so easily do it to me? I have been quite ill since discovery and when I started to recover physically, I've became horribly angry. Am still in the angry stage.
H is really x 100 sorry. He called off the A immediately and has lost heaps of weight. He looks like sh** and has totally returned to old self. Just stressed and exhausted dealing with aftermath.. I have tried so hard to walk away from marriage. The light has gone out for me. I don't know what love is any more. I don't know what I feel. To make matters worse I have to live with in a few meters of her. I see her sometimes. I've screamed at her and told her employer - but she was kept on. she has no idea the hurt she's inflicted on two decent people. H told me he wanted to have sex with her but when she said she was a virgin he knew he couldn't but thought he could do all the other stuff. She wouldn't let him do much - according to him, just some half naked stuff on our bed - which I gather he found most agreeable. She was holding out for money, I'm sure. Where was his compasion for her desperate circumstances? He supports a world vision girl in Africa, but this girl is just as poor - only older. I hate it that he took advantage of her situation and only contributed to her difficult circumstances. Even if the girl set him up for it - he could have risen above it. We had a good life. When I was here that is. My mistake.
Now: have sex every nite. Is everyone else like that? But the arguments have been ongoing and sometimes violent on my part. We never used to argue - life was easy and comfortable and happy. Now it's rough and I humiate him every chance I get and deride him for his pathetic behavior and sleez and stupidity. How men can seriously believe girls half their age like being touched by them beats me. If they had to produce an errection it would be a different story huh?
well fellow sufferers. Thanx for listening.
dumbo
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