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Posts: 8,344
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Thank you...
Thank you...
Thank you...
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 148
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Decided to bring this up for all of you.
Something we should all be doing... no matter what our situation.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 193
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Thank you Ark and thank you spider slayer. This all helped me tonight. I'm going back over there and give my H a hug and shine some light into the confused overwhelming world that he is in right now.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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OP
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bumping for Imterrified.....
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Posts: 16,412
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 413
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Ark....Just wanted to say thanks. I printed this off about a month ago and read it daily. It's helped me (and continues to help me) get through some of the rough days.
Thanks again. I only hope "thanks" is enough.
Me-BH 51 FWW-51
Three sons, S28 from first marriage, S23 and S19
A started Mar 07
D-day 9-4-07
NC 4-08
Recovered Nicely.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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I'm bumping this mostly because I was searching for a post on being very very free in your plan A..
if and when you expect nothing....
I think the whole post was about learning to give perhaps for some in their first time in their lives with NO expectations..
which is really really hard...
BUT the more you can master it in Plan A...the easier your plan A will be..
the less stress you will have in plan a and improve your ability to truly be free in expressing yourself AND in charming your spouse....cause you really don't care about their response...
in plan A you can be
silly
charming
coy
flirty
strong
admirable
all kinds of thing cause you don't really care what they think about you on one sense....
people get so heavy and dramatic and morose in plan A....
that it in the end does the exact opposite of what you want...
you want to get your spouses attention if they expect to come home on friday night and find you nervous and jumpy and staring at them..
GIVE THEM THE EXACT OPPOSITE....
be somewhere in the house trying or doing something new.....
and be happy and upbeat to see them..
and tell them some old memory of the two of you that popped in to your head...(make it a good one and a funny one..)
and then move along with your project...
go out somewhere...invite them..but if they don't want to go GO ANYWAYS....let them sit at home WONDERING
seek joy and peace in the ACT of giving and doing AND not in how they respond or NOT respond...
remove any and expectations..
I can not say that enough...
it is the key to a good plan A...
and always have a date and a plan for plan b..
for this no point in A if you are not willing to go to B
ARK This whole post needs to be brought forward from the midst of this thread!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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bumping for PLAN Aers....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Bumping... Because I can...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 1,541
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BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 3,423
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Here it is not2.
This post was an incredible help to me right after d-day.
Fox
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Thanks so much WH....
It helped me so much too. Actually quite a few threads did and they are coming back to me slowly....some I can't believe actually got buried here they are THAT good (the fear thread.....)...
Anyway, wanted it bumped for the newbies....especially the ones who are having a hard time grasping the MB principles...
not2fun
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bumping for all the newbies.....and any old timers who forgot....at this time of the year it is sometimes hard to remember what the purpose is.......
not2fun
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Another bump for a must read.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 3,499
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Posts: 3,499
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bumping for VST......
rah rah rah......
not2fun
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
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Is there any way this could be thumbtacked to the top of the page?
I know we have Sunny's welcome to the PG forum thumbtacked.
I use this post of Ark's SO much and refer SO MANY people to it.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 139
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Me BS
H FWS
DDay 10/2007
Actively recovering, learning, loving, earning a better marriage!
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