Well...tonight on my way home from work, I seen my wifes car at a local resturant/pub. I phoned and asked if it was OK to stop in....she said yes. At 9:10 PM she was sitting at the bar with her old girl friend and her husband...I stayed and had a beer. This was maybe a big step for me as...when I sat and spoke with her, she said that when I was ready to go, being I"m working in the AM..she walked me out and we talked. She asked me if I understood what she was doing...she quoted that she was trying to find herself. That I'm the only one she loved and that for me to let her there showed her my trust. We kissed and hugged and she said she would phone me later...it's now 12:30 AM and I'm beginning to worry, I was sleeping but had awakened around midnite. She said that our counselor said to stop with friends or do things that she had'nt done to see where she wants to be. I love her so, so much and am trying to give her the space she needs. Do any of you ladies out there understand this "finding oneself"?? I sort of think....it's tha thing that her 39th birthday is soon coming. Well I'll go back to bed and pray for her safety and she may call like she said. This is a big hard step for me and my trust.

well
welder boy, play along with her. Give her space, write all those romantic things.

SHE IS CONFUSED LIKE HELL. Whether to hold on tho a LBing husband or to leave and seek happiness. She just dont want it like her first R.

The best thing is to take her to this MB and show her that what you are learning and what you are going to do about the future. you can not undo all the love busting you have done all the years suddenly. But one of the best advice from a good seducer is
" MAKE HER LAUGH WHEN SHE IS WITH YOU",
" MAKE IT IS FUNNY TO BE WITH YOU"
" MAKE HER FORGET THAT SHE IS MARRIED TO YOU"
" MAKE HER REMEMBER YOUR DATING DAYS"

If you continue to do this, your marriage will survive for 100 years.

Thanks dhanush...I rode my Harley to work yesterday....and W called the plant...we had a good talk and after work I took a nice spring ride. Ran into a couple old friends...got to bed early and feel pretty good today. I think maybe everything is going to be fine, I just got off the phone with W and her Mother came home yesterday and they spent the evening together and they now are out on the porch having coffee. We are going to lunch today and spending the afternoon together. Thanks for the advice, as far as being confused...the counselor said she a "mixed up girl" right now and said believe in our love.

Hey people...sorry to be away....but all was going well. We have spent about 16 nights in a row together up til Tuesday May, 25th. On that evening...we finally had a session with our councelor together. When Deb..W, was asked how things have been going she said.."Great, I'm now wanting to be with H...instead of feeling she did things to keep from upsetting me...and has been having so much fun that she wanted to move home!
Well then the councelor named,some things...she hit on money...which I thought we had no trouble in? Anyhow after a up and down week...W now says not to phone her, etc., she don't know if she will ever come back....but truly loves me. I'm so messed up...any wisdom?

Please.....I need advice...

Welderboy,

For right now, tonight, try to pray for your wife. Ask God to give you insight into what is going on with her, and into your own heart. He knows what to do.

Ask him to give her peace and hope about your marriage.

Let her know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to work things out, that you want her to be happy.

I wonder if she needs to change jobs? You might pray about this, too.

Thanks...I had a phone call from a co-worker and invited me to his church tommorrow. I do pray and ask you to paryer for me and Debby. I think she needs a change from her work....things have only been worst since.Also I spoke with her Mother today....and told her of my feelings of the marriage was over and that I need to end this. She said she knows her better than anyone....and for me not to quit that she thinks Deb just needs the time...that she is really confused.

Welderboy -

Hang in there. Your situation seems very promising. I have seen many people in much worse situations, get back together and do fine.

Thanks people...I got invited to my friends church this morning...where I got told my wife was seen Friday evening renting a video with the other guy....that's trying to be with her. Friends wife was shocked, but said debby was also...I'm fine and prayed for my peace and am giving this over to the lord. I'm not mad....just feel sorry for her and am ready and willing to forgive and move ahead.Please pray that God moves on her as we had been great in our marriage when we were living right and praising God.

Well, I had counseling tonight....rode my Harley from work and had about a 3 hour wait. To kill the time, I rode to a local park, ride a few chapters of a book, "The Purpose Driven Life".
I got a little shook up as it was my parents 46th anniversary and the card touched me. Anyhow...I think the rest of this is out of my hands...I'm going to let God take it and wait on him to lead me. June 14th will be 4 months and I can't take much more ups and downs. Please pray for Debby.

hang in there-
remember this...
1 day at a time.
I understand as
a woman what it
means to try &
"find" myself.
I never knew a
life of just me.
I have always
taken care of
everyone around
me-& I wanted to
have some time
to myself. It is
so important to
gaining perspective
in your life-
just being alone &
having quiet. It
sounds like you
are doing what
you need to do
with W-just stand
back for awhile,
and let her grow.
prayers...

Wow...Peaceandlove, I only want her to be happy and let the Lord touch her heart. Our marriage was great when we was living right and going to church together. Thanks for the prayers.

Hey, Ladies....how long does it take to find yourself? Also...did you feel the need for some other person...even as a male friend?

Well, I've just got home from "Celebrate Recovery"
group thing at the church my friend invited me to last Sunday. I had a really good week....surrender this trouble to the Lord....I've not had any worry in my life this week. Deb came and visited me Wed. and spent the night. I been getting a bit of flack from her mom and Dad though. Like I need to stop bugging her? Heck she isn't wanting to come to church or has she been in a church in over a year. I just asked her to attend... please give me your prayers for the Lord to touch her heart. Thanks.

I was just wondering
how things were for
you?! Women- as you
well know are very
complex! understatement!
there is no magic time
frame-it is more about
self love and realizations
acceptance and faith.
I have learned to love
all aspects of discovering
what brings me joy-
and that changes every day!

where r u? how was weekend?
are things better for you & W?

My weekend...was plain confusing. But OK I guess?
Deb had spent the night Wed. and all seemed great.
Had called thursday morn and said her parents were rather shook up, about her trying to make a decision. Anyhow, on Friday....Deb phoned an warned me that her Dad left a message on my phone...saying to quit bugging Deb and etc...that if things worked out he was good with it but to give her time. She spoke with me at bedtime Friday....and not again til this morning Monday at about 6:45am on my trip to work. Tonight I ran her mail over with a little gift and spent 1 hr. there. She told me that the best thing I could do for her is to be strong. That she knows she can't have it both ways and sometimes she just breaks down crying not knowing what to do. I had ask her to attend church with me and her Mom talked her out...saying that we should attend our old church, where when I asked the Pastor for help in our marriage...he offered nothing. Anyhow, It really felt good to see her and touch her this evening....

Any thoughts?....

My 1st Q-
what is she telling her parents?
why would her dad be upset?
I know this might be hard to hear-
BUT-give her space. time to herself.
If she calls you, then tell her just
that-you are trying to do what she
wants to get her better. Is she reading
some good books? tell her to ck out
some things at library-so many great
resources available. my thoughts...
stay in touch-pal

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Heck...her parents are really too close to her...they have a home about 4 hours away, but when they are up here...Deb is presently sharing an apartment with them. Our relationship seems normal when her Mother is away...meeting for supper, staying together etc., but as soon as she spents a weekend with them either here or away everything goes negative. Thanks peaceandlove....Jesus is the prince of peace, and when I'm walking with the Lord, my worries are gone!!