I am new to this site. Decided to visit after my husband, "Fighter" told me he posted back in October. His posts mention about finding his soulmate. He found a woman who likes to watch football and go for motorcycle rides and believes he is in love.
We have been married for three years and together for a total of 9. We never really had huge fights. It seems now a lot of little things have exploded into one huge problem. We do have different interests, but also enjoy time with each other. I would have never guessed that he would be unfaithful to me, especially since we planned for our child.
To complicate the situation, we are expecting our first child in early May. His affair started when I was about 12 weeks pregnant.
Unfortunately, I was unaware of his affair until mid January. I left for a few days and it spooked him. He was worried about the baby and I and asked for me to come home for a second chance. I asked for marriage counseling, NC with OW and he agreed. I agreed to trying to trust him again, giving him small steps and he was trying. While we were both trying, we really enjoyed happiness together.It seems like our marraige was improving.I thought I had his commitment to making it work.
He didn't folllow through on the NC part of the affair and it has only intensified. My senses were strong this time and I noticed the frequent cell phone calls, computer use at night, avoiding talking to me. I confronted him and he explained how he and the OW went away on a business trip together. Now, his family and friends completely disapprove of his behavior and have started to withdraw from him. Meaning he is even more drawn to other woman.
I kicked him out. He went to hotel room with other woman. I slept on my sister's couch for a week and had enough of that. I am home now and he is dragging feet, saying he needs somewhere to live too.
For some crazy reason, he finally agreed to marriage counseling. The strange part is, now we are talking and communicating how we feel like never before. When we sit together to talk, we cry and still want to hold each other. We apologize for things we would take back, things we wanted from each other. One minute he says he wants out, then tells me he is scared he is making a mistake.
We met with counselor together 1 session and then each individually. We meet with him again on Wednesday. MC is confused why we aren;t agruing and we are so calm with each other.
I am trying to hold it together for the sake of the baby. My doctor told me that emotional stress can send me into labor. I have 8 weeks to go. I am so sad and hurt, at a time when I should be at my happiest.
My confusion is there are signs telling me to move on. I am young. I have to understand I did not cause this to happen. I have tremendous love from my family and friends who have not spoken up and told me what to do. They feel I should make my own decision, what I feel in my heart.
The other part of me considers all the wonderful qualities we share together in our marriage. I am scared of my life without him becasue I deeply love him. I soemtimes think we can conquer this if we both put in the effort.
Please share your experiences with me. Have you been in this situation & made it work or worse?
Thank you for reading
