PLEASE, I NEED YOUR ADVICE !!! My WH just doesn't stop his destructive behavior and keeps on hurting our family! - I am sick and tired of his verbal abuse, his lack of compassion, his lack of fatherly love and affection toward our daughters; he is a complete stranger to us.
Short History: After confessing to 3 mth. PA in 1/03, and attempts recovery to 9/03 (FALSE RECOVERY I MIGHT ADD- as he NEVER left the OW as promised) - We immediately separated and he filed for divorce in 10/03.... He became even more verbally abusive toward me and his (2) daughters. Told us he didn't want family responsibilities, NOTHING... - to take the girls and get the F**# out of his life! If "we" didn't accept his new love, he would have nothing to do with us... So, we had no contact with him for the 1st 6 weeks and limited contact until we moved. The girls and I made the decision to leave our beautiful home state of AZ and move back to the State of MI, where family and friends could support us. Oh, let me add the most important piece of information> The OW showed up on my driveway the night before we were leaving for MI and we all ended up in a physical fight (between me, my WH and OW...) It was heartbreaking, especially when WH told lies after lies, tried to punch me in the face several times and yet protected his LOVER... Luckily, I came out only with a bruised face for a week.
Fast forward 3 months later ( he has called them a total of 4x's, about 15 minutes worth - pretty pathetic father huh?)... Youngest daughter is graduating from 8th grade in June.. I have already told WH to make sure he SHOWS UP on this most important day for his daughter. Tonight, he informs D that he is flying in for her graduation AND .... asks her if she would like to attend a RUSH CONCERT being held the same week as graduation - part of her PRESENT (?) -- GREAT, I'D LOVE TO GO DAD my D says, I'm so happy !! BUT (he says)... you will be going with me and LISA (OW) !! You can get to know her now! -- My daughter angrily said: I WILL ONLY GO WITH YOU DAD, NOT HER!! "Please, rethink your decision, we want you to go with us... I will call you again and hope you change your mind he says. --
OKAY, there is where I'm losing it MBer's!" D is absolutely heartbroken that her father wants to take the OW and not just her - she hasn't seen her dad in 3 months.. She was hoping for a chance to spend time alone with her dad but no, a**hole does it again.
HOW DARE HE !!! Once again, he puts the OW IN FRONT of his own daughters feelings... - My girls want absolutely NOTHING to do with this low life of a person. They have communicated this to their dad on many occasions, but he just doesn't get it, just doesn't give a damn about anyone except himself and the whore he's shacking up with. They both firmly and bluntly have told their dad they want a relationship with him ONLY... that's all, they will NEVER ACCEPT HIS LOVER, NEVER.
I don't trust him... I'm afraid he and OW will ruin my daughters graduation... I want my D to have a wonderful memory, with family and friends. - What do I do? Talking with this man is useless as he has no brain ! And... I REFUSE to let the girls go with their father during this weekend as OW will be with him.. The girls have asked me to protect them from the OW and I intend to make sure I do!
Oh, I just want to scream right now, I am SO UPSET !! My daughters don't deserve his crap, his insensitive behavior, his ignorance.... he is one pathetic individual who doesn't give a **** about anyone!
What's the best way to handle this situation? My WH is CAPABLE OF ANYTHING... thanks !!
Me (BS) 41
(WH) 42
(2) D's - 14 and 16 yrs.
EA/PA
WH moved out 10/03 - now living with OW and
her 15 yr son
M 21 years
