I just found out about my H affair last week. He says he has broken it off with the OW. She is still calling him crying and saying she loves him, etc, etc...all I want to do is hold my H and love him. I have not yet gone thru the emotions of it yet. We are seeing a therapist as well.

I want to approach him, but I am not sure if it is the right thing to do. I am affraid that if I dont approach him, he may turn back to the OW, but if I do approach him too soon it might also turn him away. I am ready to make our intimacy better in any way I can. Which is what the marriage was lacking in the first place. I was never really a very sexual person and neither was he, but we always wanted to be.

When is the right time to be intimate again? Should I approach him now? I am going to talk to him when he gets home from work today. Please give me your advice. Thanks!

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 07:05 PM: Message edited by: chris37 ]</small>

Chris, thank you for your reply. I have ordered "surviving an affair"...I bought "After an affair" last night and my H is reading it now. I also bought "surviving infidelity" and I am reading it now. I bought "myth of greener grass" for him as well.

Each day seems to change for him. One day he says he wants to work on the marriage, then next day he says he doesn't love me anymore and haswn't for a long time. That kills me. It sends me into an emotional whirlwind. I asked him what to do a minute ago and he says to just give him time. I told him my fears and now I am afraid I am pushing him further apart.

Last night I was ready to be intimate, but I felt he wasn't...it just wasn't right..I think he wanted to, but we just couldn't go any further. Now his OW is calling him crying....

I found a reciept from sam's that he bought her a gold necklace for Valnetines day. That killed me. He spent a lot of money on it.

He says he doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for a while. I feel he is only focusing on the negative parts of the marriage, cuz we did have a good marriage. How are we going to get past this...Please help!

mt3,

Hang on there. Start a Plan A. It is good that you get Chris's advice. All WSs say the same thing. I don't love you anymore. Give me some time and space. You just have to be patient. If he is ready for intamacy, then do it, otherwise back off. Hang on here, many good advices will come.

Chris, Can you read my thread and give me some insight of how a WH's thought is. I am very confused at this stage. Mine is under PlanA/PlanB, Am I in Plan A?

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 07:01 PM: Message edited by: chris37 ]</small>