I have been feeling so desperately lonely and needing to be touched, held, hugged - something.
I am a very affectionate person who loves hugs and kisses. Just feeling my husband's body next to mine is very comforting.

However, since I am not getting that from my husband, am I in danger of succumbing to the sins that he has committed?????

I have been talking to some people who know of our situation and some have been there themselves. There are 4 or 5 men (all married or with girlfriends) whom I have spoken. These men know my husband also. I haven't said anything that I wouldn't say in front of my husband or be worried if he knew what was said between either party. These men aren't coworkers of mine but I sometimes work from the location where they work. They love to talk and seem to be caring individuals. I don't think they have said one word them selves that they would be afraid of their wives or girlfriends hearing. They've all been totally above board with their advice and their stories of their past marital problems.

Now, I am starting to wonder if they may be setting me up to move in on me. I just thought of that today. I told my husband of the conversation I had with a particular person who was relating how after their problems their marriage has never been stronger. I was trying to show my husband that other people get through worse situations.

Anyway, what if I start having feelings for these men because they are meeting MY emotional need for conversation and admiration?? They've all told me that I would be scooped up by someone very quickly if my husband ends it. Are they just being nice because they know I am hurting??
They know, because I've told them all, that all I want in the world is my husband back because I love him so damn much.

This has been bothering me all day. Some advice is greatly appreciated!!!!!

LOL, Pep.

I do have a kitty. She is 13 years old and has been by my side, LITERALLY, for every second that I am at this apartment. She misses her big picture windows in the living room and dining room of our house. She also misses the sliding glass door in the kitchen. She misses the birds, squirrels and the neighborhood kitties that would come to the windows for a little visit for some kitty flirting. More than anything, she misses her Daddy. I feel so bad that she is now alone so much (my husband and I worked opposite shifts).
She is too old to adjust successfully to a new friend - even the vet agrees.

So, right now it is just me and my girlie until my husband asks us to come home.

::::::::crossing my fingers:::::::::::::::::

BTW - what is a B.O.B. ???

Hi ICNAFM,

Yes, they were probably being nice AND a hot property doesnt stay on the market for long <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . I know when I got rid of my 1st H, I was amazed by the reactions. My exH always told me he was the best thing to ever happen to me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . Everyone else (who had been politely silent throught out my marriage) said 'FINALLY!!! YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!' They came out of the woodwork!

Best to stay AWAY from temptation till you are more in control of yourself and your life. Too much going on right now. My pets were great comfort to me, and a hug from a good friend is worth it's weight in gold. I went a good year before I had a physical relationship after my 1st H. It was a long year, but I survived. You will, too. Dont risk it! - Dru

I forgot to add something very important to my original post:

I have been longing for a baby with my husband for so long. I am very afraid that now I will never have children. I am almost 36 years old and my time is running out. I was about to go for fertility testing when my husband changed his mind about having a baby (his affair talking).

So, I think you guys know what is running through my mind..... I have thought about getting pregnant from someone I think is good looking and smart. Yep, and not tell them about it. I can't imagine living the rest of my life never becoming a mother. And I want to be pregnant, I do not want to adopt.

These thoughts going through my mind are so dangerous right now. I keep thinking that since my husband doesn't want to have a baby with me I will have one on my own.

I never really wanted to have children before I met my husband. But, knowing he might become a father from his OW makes me so damn mad. I pray to God that it isn't his. But I want the babies that he promised me during our wedding mass. He promised he would accept children from God. Another broken promise!

AAaccckkk! Children?! They say dont make any big decisions after dday for at least a year, and BOY is THAT a big decision. Please take it slow. That is sooo big. Can you get a 'baby fix' from someone else? Sitting for a sister or volunteering or something??

I'm sorry, that must be especially painful that he left at this point. Please take care of yourself - Dru

Yes, you will set yourself up for an affair if you keep discussing personal issues with other men. I had the option of choosing amongst 10 men whom I worked with - which one would I talk to about the situation? (There were no women but me at my workplace). I told my boss the situation the day after d-day because at that time I thought I might be headed into an ugly divorce which would surely reflect on my work habits. Then another guy (single) heard the rumor on the street and came to me about it. I was close friends with all of the others, so I had my run of the place. Which one did I choose? I chose the one I was the least physically attracted to. The one that was WWWAAAAYYY to old for me (by 40 yrs or so), who subsequently was the one that could keep his mouth shut from the other co-workers too. Carefully choose your confidantes. Following d-day, I wanted to confide in lots of people, but after a time, I got tired of rehashing every thing for every body - so I settled down to just 2. My best friend, and this old guy at work. Both gave me wonderful advice, and both are part of the glue that stuck my marriage back together. Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation. The power is in YOUR hands!!

Dru - I read that about not making a major decision for at least a year post D-Day. I just can't remember exactly where I saw it. Thank you for the advice!

JamUp - Thank you also. I keep thinking that these guys are too nice to try to hook up with me while I am still married and they know and like me husband. I guess that is just as naive as the bullcrap my husband pulled with me because the OW is a FORMER friend of mine, too.

Battery Opperated Boyfriend

I still think you need a kitten..... someone for your cat to play with. And, some fur to make you laugh.

Pep

Thanks for clueing me in on that meaning, Pep.

I do have a few B.O.B.s that I bought to spice up our SF after D-Day but I only use them with my husband. The whole Catholic guilt/masturbation thing keeps me from using them without him.