My H did very well at hiding his tracks during his A. And it was primarily his actions AFTER breaking the A off that began to gnaw at my gut.
Why was he suddenlt so attentive after ignoring me for months?
What was that look on his face for? That "I'm so sorry look"?
There were no clandestine meetings with the OW. There were no strange phone calls. There were no nasty rumors in the community. There were no new gift items in his closet. There were no hidden cell bills or credit card bills. NOTHING>
During his A, my gut was on coast. I had such faith in him combined with an I don't care attitude, that my gut was on vacation. NOW my gut is paranoid!! It clinches up for no reason at all.. So how do I handle this paranoia? Usually I attempt to dismiss it at least once. If it still lingers, then I find a neutral way to discuss my fears with my H. Our marriage has been terrific over the last 2+ years since D-day, and although he knows that there are repercussions to his actions, one being my distrust in him, he has also proven with his subsequent actions that he is unworthy of receiving the 10th degree every time my gut flares up. There does come a time when the FWS earns the right to a fair trial - innocent until proven guilty. Each time he comes away from one of my mini trials as proven innocent, my gut slacks off some.
As for the future? I think my gut has been kicked in to overdrive and has no thoughts of going back to neutral for a long long time - probably Never!!
