I know I am all over the boards, probably asking the same question over and over again. Please bare with me...I am still in shock. I am confused, saddened, angry, upset and wondering what to do now. This board is the only thing that is helping me get thru this right now. I have directed my WH to it, but he has not seen his email yet. Hopefully he will get some good insight as I have.

Here is the deal now....Tonight we were getting ready to go to our son's tball practice when he comes out with a handful of clothes in his arms. I looked at him and said "I guess your never coming home" the conversation went on from there. He tries to avoid it, but what good is that going to do. He is saying that the OW filled an emptiness that I hadn't in a long time. That he and the OW have conversations and talk. hmmm, I guess I am talking to a wall when I talk to him.

I am doing everything I can to show this man that I do love him. What else can I do? Am I pushing him too much. I know that when he holds me he feels something. I told him tonight that he was still in the "fog" and that once he emerges he will start to fall back in love with me. Am I just kidding myself, or is this true? 12 years of marriage vs. 6 weeks of sex...

I have tried to show him that I too can be "good" again. I have lost so much weight during this that he barely recognizes me anymore. He says I look like a different woman.

Please tell me what I can do to make him come down from this fog. Show him that he still loves me. Show him I can be the wife I used to be. I can do it! This is just killing me!

OH yes, he is still calling the OW. They only talk for about 5 minutes, but he IS still calling her.

I gues my question is this time...How many of the WS have fallen out of love then back in love with their BS? Can this happen? I feel the longer he puts me thru this H*** the more angry I will get and then I wont want him to come back.

PLEASE HELP ME!

Hi momto3boys

Short answer... wait...

Long answer... wait, plan A, plan B if necesary, learn, get better and again wait some more <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

I saw your dday was fairly recent.

Let me tell you about my story. My H's A started around June 2002... things got weird around October 2002. I found out Feb 2003, and had to wait until Jan 2004 for my H to come out of the fog, and start to work on this.

In all that time, all the steps of the A happened. I think your H's fog is so thick now, that there is not much you can do to end it, of course you have to disclosse, and get help from family friends and a therapist if you find a good one. This might pose the hardest time of your life but also you can use it to get better.

Most likely, you would not believe myself, like I didn't believed many people and saw my H behaving like a complete stranger, he couldn't relate to my pain, he was a complete different man! This days, he is becoming the man he used to be, the man I used to love, but in many aspects better.

So if you are willing to save your M, I would advice you to wait and do the things you need to do to get better. YES it can get better!. I understood, that it was not on my timing, but on God's timing.

I'm still hanging in here, and I hope for the sake of your M and family, that you hang in there for as long as you can handle it.

Take good care

Plan A for sure.

Whatever you do - don't try and educate your WS on how he is feeling and what he is going through. Telling him he is in a fog won't help at all.

If he tells you OW offers him conversation, then offer him the same and keep in mind having a good conversation will involve LISTENING LISTENING LISTENING. If your H thinks for one minute he'll be lectured, educated, yelled at, cried in front of he won't open up to you.

My H fell deeply in love with another woman - it was a brief but intense affair - he took TWO years to come around and feel love for me and to feel positive about our future. It was a TON of plan A'ing on my part - which believe me wasn't always easy - I did a lot of crying in the bathroom!!

Hope this helps.