I think H. advice is good and I've been practicing the no love busting thing for the past month. But I've noticed when my h. thinks I'm upset or acting distance, he comes towards me. By this I mean he seems more aware of me and shows me more affection-like he doesn't want me to be upset. Why is this and what could it mean? <P>If I pull away, he comes towards me. Does that make sense? I know pulling away must be love busting isn't it?

I think Dr. H's advice for the betrayer is to make us feel secure. He told my H it was up to HIM not me to have me in a position where I forgive him and we can work things out. My H knows when I get real quiet and won't talk that I'm down. He usually sends me a sweet email or he'll give me a hug and a kiss. He did something really neat one day to show his dedication to making things work. I think that by our H's trying they are trying to win our love and trust back again. I personally think they just need to be careful not to smother us so we don't run the other way. It's really hard. I've had so many ups and downs. I couldn't see your profile so I don't know your story or how long you've been dealing with this but if you read mine, its been since June...not very long. Every day is a struggle but we should be glad our H's are trying right???