This seems like a bad dream that won't end. After 19 years of marriage and ministry together and 2 beautiful children my husband divorced me last June. A year ago my husband, a chruch pastor, left me for a friend and staff member after they had a 2 & 1/2 year affair. During the last few months I was verbally abused, lied to and manipulated by my husband to try and cover up the affair and find a way out without loosing his reputation. He left the church for a corporate job and they were married last August. The hurt and pain has been unbelievable. I gave up hope of reconsiliation after their marriage and "fell in love" with another man who had been a friend of ours. To make a long strory short... now my x-husband is devorcing his wife of 6 months and wants to come home to his family. I am so confused. What do I do. I love another person and unfortunatly have crossed physical lines with him (regretfully) and now have the man I have spent half my life with wanting to "work it out". He seems very "broken" and repentant and is pursuing his relationship with God. He is seeing a councelor. The councel I have recieved is conflicting and pretty much leaves me more confused. What do I do? My "boy freind" is stepping back to allow reconciliation if that is what "God and I would want". He loves me and he loves my x-husband. He has opened up his home for my x to stay in but says he loves me and if we cannot reconcile he would like a relationship with me. My emotions go on a rollercoaster everyday. I love my x but have lost so much respect and trust. I am financially struggleing due to the divorce and some days it can be overwhelming. I do not want to be driven by emotions one way or another. I have a lot of emotions for my "boy friend" and he is opposite from my X. My X is a very driven, determined sometimes controlling person. My boy friend is laid back and easy going but lacks confidence. I do not want to react in my decision but truely find God's will and plan. I have made many mistakes in my pain and truely want what is best. I have a 13 and 9 year old to consider also. Where do I go for help?
Thanks for listening

Yikes. Well your H was unfaithful and you got a divorce. He remarried and then found out that he was living a fantasy. That is what usually happens.

For me it would be too late to reconcile. Your friend sounds like a good man. I would take my time and make no decisions for awhile.

Stick with us and we will help you sort this out. There are lots of smart people here.

Thank you! This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. Please mail any insights you have.

Since I am 'confused' also I'm not the one to give you advice but I did want to send along a hug and let you know that you are not alone. You will receive much comfort and helpful advice from these boards.