Need 2 get this down, before I forget:

My W often says "life sucks" or "the world is an awful place."

I could never think of a good response 2 that, except 2 tell her that I don't agree. But I have one now. One that I will use on MYSELF when I'm feeling down and blaming "the world" for my feelings.

2long: "I believe that the world is what we make of it. If you believe that the world, or life, sucks, are you willing 2 take responsibility for having let it get that way?"

Personally, I am willing 2 take responsibility for the things I can affect and the influences people think I may have on them. So, I can change myself, and maybe in the process, the vacuum will pull a little less hard 2morrow.

-ol' 2long.

<small>[ March 14, 2004, 02:42 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Hi 2Long,

thanks for posting your motto.
I reeeeaaalllly needed to read something like that today. I am tired, exhausted, sad , maybe even angry, I have a lot to deal with in the upcoming weeks, will not receive support form WH, BUT I cannot simply take a pill and wake up two years later hoping all my problems will get cured somehow. So, since it's up to me to live my life, I'd better live it with an upbeat attitude. Thanks for the reminder.
With best wishes for your M,
FBOW

2long, thank you for your posting. I think it is the attitude we all need to have.

FBOW, I feel the same way as you do. Sometimes I really feel like I have to fight with my feeling. We have so much to fight with, and still need to fight with the feeling. I had the same wish you had, take a pill and 2 years later, things will be ok. But we have to face the reality. Oh, life is not fair.

When all this first happened, I used to pray that God would let me be in a serious car accident or something, so I could go into a coma for 6 months to a year and wake up to the smiling face of my loving H...not this alien that invaded his body.

But alas, the big man upstairs has other plans for me.

Which reminds me of something that fits in line with exactly what you are saying...It comes from Paul in Phillipians Chapter 4:

"4Rejoice in the Lord always I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

What this says to me is a serious attitude check. It doesn't say Praise God (or have a good attitude, upbeat temperment, or kind, loving, joyous demeanor) when things are good. It says ALWAYS...and that means, ALWAYS...even when things really STINK!

We all have to remind ourselves of this!

Hey there 2long,

Indeed you've got a good attitude/philosophy there. I try to live with the same perspective myself. Life is what we make it, we choose our outlook on it and that outlook will affect how our life unfolds. If we expect things to be bad, they likely will. If we expect things to be good, they most likely will. There's no point in being extremely negative, it's just a way of making one's personal pain even more intense really.

I'm so thankful that the optimist inside me wasn't destroyed through all of my marital turmoil. I continue to choose to try to make my way in this world by taking responsibility for my choices, not acting like a victim of life's or others' plot(s) against me (even though there is sometimes the temptation to blame those around me for where I've ended up).

BTW, I hope you had a chance to read my reply to your post on my other thread.

Jen