How do couples overcome intrusive thoughts when making love. Thoughts like, did he do this with her? That type of thing. Please help with ideas.

=( I'm with you friend. I'm having the same problems. Believer gave me some links I'm going to check out. You might want to look at one of my other recent posts.

Wow. I know exactly what you mean. I am glad I am not the only one! But, I do know how painful they can be.

Anyway, when those thoughts come to mind, I do this: I "do it" (for lack of a more tactful term) better, harder and faster than anyone ever could with him. I've become more open and willing to try anything that comes to mind. I've told my husband I would swing from the chandeliers if that's what he wanted - or I wanted for that matter!

That makes me feel like no one could satisfy him sexually the way I can or ever could.


But, since he recently admitted to sexual intercourse with the OW (he has always denied it in the past) without using protection, all sexual activity with him has become a thing of the past until he goes for a total STD/bloodwork screening with the negative results in writing that I can see and also no unprotected sex with him for at least a year for a few HIV/AIDS tests to come back negative.

Sorry to get off topic, but I think that point is important when talking about sex with our wandering spouses.